Mother has Dementia

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My mom over the past two years has been coming down with dementia and it's getting worse. I'm not use to her raising her voice to me and accused me of stealing her money. She also accused me of having an affair with the husband of my niece who is pregnant. She saw him give a short kiss goodbye to my daughter and now she is having an affair as well. Yesterday on the phone she started again about my affair and I got so bad, I just hung up on her. She is really hurting my feelings and I don't know how to handle the problem. And no, I've never had an affair with this person. My niece is very upset as well. She doesn't understand why her grandmother is picking on her husband, he's just affectionate with everyone. I need some help, I don't know what to do. She presently is living alone but I'm sure in a few months she'll be moving in with us. My mom is 93. Thanks,gp


Welcome to this sight. There are many helpful and encouraging people here. Try to educate yourself about dementia and that will help you to understand the changes your mom is going thru.I have moments with the person I care for and I can not believe some of the things she says or how one minute she is ok and in the next breath saying something awful. It is very hard to not take personal, but they are ill in ways that even they do not understand. Again, educate yourself. If you are planning on having her live with you it would be in your and hers best interest to know as much as you can to make it as sane as possible. Good luck and keep posting, others will get back with you.I'm glad you are here. God Bless
Dementia is horrible! Sorry about what you, your Mom and your family are going through. Having dementia is not your Mom's fault, but it is till exhausting to keep up with its many manifestations.
Hi my mother has dementia, and I have been the only care giver for almost 2yrs. I work full time, and I am so worn out, and getting depressed, she is getting harder to deal with. Is there any help that would come in and take care of her at nite sometimes, that would be affordable? I live in the south suburbs of Chicago IL. thanks.
I just started caring for my mother who has dementia. My situation doesn't seem nearly as bad as the ones on this site but for some reason I am getting so depressed. I'm afraid I can't do it. I already take anti-depressants and am a recovering drug addict. I take my medication but am so tempted to just give up because I don't see myself ever being able to be happy again. I had to leave my boyfriend to take care of my mom and she isn't the same person I knew. I am scared. Can anyone tell me where I can find help?
Hi Everyone, I got married 8 yrs ago this October after waiting 21 yrs to walk down the isle and haven't been able to enjoy one year of my marriage. exactly one year to the month after I got married my mother was diagnosed with mild Parkinson's and mild dementia. Growing up I wasn't close with my mother, I loved and do lover her dearly, but we were worlds apart. I was a late in life baby, she was 42 when she had me and I had a brother who was 11 yrs older then me. My brother passed away 19 yrs ago from AIDS and a part of her died too. She is the oldest of 9 kids and her siblings do nothing to help me. So aside from my husband and our daughter, I am alone. My mother lives only seconds away from me and has a home aid for a few hours everyday. She once not to long ago told me that my aunt was over the house and wasn't sure if she was coming back. My aunt is a year younger then mom and lives almost 2 hrs away. The first thing I thought was my aunt passed away and it was her spirit coming to say good bye (she's alive). But now that I am reading the other post it breaks my heart to know that what is happening to her is all dementia related. She has what we call "episodes" where she kind of stiffens up and doesn't move ( low blood sugar crashes) and she says it's "SPIRITUAL" that there are or feels like "SPIRITS" going through her. I don't know what to believe anymore. If you believe in ghost than believe me when I tell you that the housing complex where we live is know to be haunted but I don't go along with her I tell her that when it is happening it's her blood sugar dropping and she gets mad at me and tells me she's never had low blood sugar before. No matter what I, my daughter, husband, home aide or doctors tell her she still insists that it's "spiritual". I had a few good years with mom after my brother passed away but not enough before she became sick. Everyday I wake up and wonder if this is the day I get a call telling me she's gone. If my phone rings b4 9am or after 8pm it sets off my anxiety and I have to force myself out of panic attacks. I've lived my whole life preparing myself for the day my mother passes. I'm not ready to let her go, I wish they would find a cure for this God awful disease already.
my father was a govt employee. suffered dimentia for 10 ys.he was a very nice father.we cared him like a kid.but he couldnt recovered recovered from that disease.finally passed away.its my humble request to all my dear one plz love him more.we cant get back our parents but if we care him one day heart ll tell we did something for them .miss u papa.
Use this site to learn more about dementia. Taking a 93 year old with dementia into your home can be overwhelming very quickly. Make sure you understand what your getting into. I suggest you visit some elder care facilities also and consider your alternatives.

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