Mother: Alcohol, Diabetes, Heart disease, Rationalizing, Lying. Me: STRESSED!!!
Ugh.............I feel like this is just the beginning and I need to figure out a way to detach from the crazy and not get frustrated and angry when she lies and rationalizes and continues to make her condition worse.
My 77 year old mother was just released from a 5 day hospital stay - congestive heart failure symptoms due to diabetes and an upper respiratory infection. We don't know if the CHF was there all along or if it was acute due to the upper respiratory infection.
My dad is 82 and they still live in their home in central Indiana. My mother has a long history of drinking and has a habit of rationalizing everything. She eats way too many carbs and as a result the diabetes is getting worse and worse yet she still finds a way to rationalize and justify everything. I know she's not going to change, but what infuriates me is the lying and blaming everything but herself. I know, I know........I went to alanon and ACOA meetings for years. I just need to figure out a way to deal with this all. Out of eight kids, I have been chosen as the medical contact person and durable power of attorney for medical decisions. I think SOME of my sibs will be helpful but I still need to figure out a way to not let her get to me during this process.
I know I need support and help so that is why I'm here. Some of the sibs recognize the situation and others don't. Oh, and she and my dad bicker like children. Both are hyper defensive and neither wants the other to criticize, judge or watch the other which makes it almost impossible for them to help one another, not to mention the stress that puts on each of their bodies.
While Mom was in the hospital, Dad ended up with pneumonia so he's not feeling well either. He has emphysema.
So, the hospitalization was good for my mom since she couldn't drink but really, even if she doesn't drink, she'll still have the behaviors and dry drunk personality.
I am SOOOOOO ready to head back home tomorrow (5 hours away) but I'm sure I'll be back and having to deal with this more and more. Need to learn and get support as I head down this road. It's just so sad and I feel helpless and angry.
Thanks so much for reading!
Mary in Michigan