Mom snapped yesterday, became incoherent and nonrespondent. Had to call 911 who transported her to the hospital....

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It was more less finally determined that mom has Dem/Alz yesterday. She kept rattling off numbers and not putting sendtences together. She would not answer the questions anked by sis or my nephew. Although sister has not accepted the fact that mom has had Dem. I accepted it a long time ago thanks to all of you.

A while back when I found this site I did a lot of sounding off about sis, but now it has all boiled down to sis and I, in other words FOE, (Family Over Everything) a direct quote from my oldest son. Now is the time for us to get together and do what's best for mom. It's not a time for bickerring, not a time for disagreement, not a time for you did she's a time for let's do what's best for OUR mom.

This thing we call life is so precious. I've had time to adjust, while sister hasn't. But I will find a class we can take together so she will understand the challenges ahead of us. Lord knows there will be many.

Plz pray for our family!


Many towns now have groups who meet to talk to each other and this is very helpful-many hospitals have support groups and if you have a senior center or an office of the ageing in your area they will be able to assist you-it can be so helpful to talk to others during this time and I am glad you sisters can do this together-that will make it much easier on all of you-keep in touch and let us know how things are going-and you will be a great help to others-your expriences will be a Godsend to others.
Pamela, you've been through so much, and have grown exponentially as a result. Not everyone handles things the same way, as I'm sure you're aware. Sounds as if you're the responsible one, and the one to lead the way. Forgiveness goes a long way, and grace for your sis at this time. She may never "get it," as you have, but one can hope. She's probably looking to you to be the "strong" and compassionate one. From what you've demonstrated, it seems you are. The insight and maturity you've gained make that apparent. Trust God to help you. Sorry to hear about your mom's episode. So they finally gave her a diagnosis? Medications should help with some of her responses. Hugs and support help you, and will be invaluable for your sister, as well. I'll keep you and your mom, and family in prayer, Pamela. What a blessing you can be to them at this time. I pray the Lord give you wisdom and endurance.
Thank you all.

SS yes the Lord has spoken to me in so many ways, I can't even name. I just came back from there and as I kept asking mom questions her only answers were "A LRIGHT".

I went outside and cut some roses for mom, then I put a picture of all of us near her. I told my sister that the clock and the radio serve no purpose next to her now, as she has no concept on time, and I don't think she's capable of turning on the radio anymore. But do you know what the best thing of all and my sister hugging and telling one another "I LOVE YOU AND WE'LL GET THROUGH THIS". Gosh how great God is to have brought us full circle, do you know what I mean. I actually felt like I had a sister, and I felt like we were really comforting one another. Lord that felt good. Even though I keep asking God why mom is suffering, maybe this is the reason to bring us together as 'SISTERS", and it doesn't get any better than that. I feel so good, I mean I'm sad for mom, but I'm happy for my sister and I working together, I mean isn't that how God displays himself.

I feel so good.

Mom eased into sleep, and I kissed her several times and told her I loved her. Don't know if she heard me, don't care, it just felt right.

I'll be back over there 2morrow, but I think mom can rest now, and maybe that's what's she's been waiting for.

Ain't God something, oh yes he is.
Amen, sister. I'm happy for your breakthrough with your sister. Only God could have done that. Man (men, and women) always mess things up without God in the mix. Anyway, I don't know why people suffer, but I hate to say it's so others can work things out. All things work together for them that love God, but I don't think he necessarily causes bad things to make them work that way.

Then again, I'm not God, so who knows his plan. Seems my ways aren't always the best. Still waiting for God to do something in my family. Or maybe he's trying to do something in me? Ugh! Meanwhile, my dad struggles with Alzheimer's. I hate it! But I don't blame God. I just don't understand the stupid disease. It's a cruel one, and hard on families.

Pamela, thanks for sharing your journey. It's awesome to know that God is working in it.

The Doctor at the hospital says there are basically no test for Dem/Alz. Is this true? They are checking her blood for Folic, and B12. Has anyone ever heard of this?

She also has a nerve exposed in her teeth and we want to have her tooth extracted. Don't know if it's safe but an infection in the mouth can cause all kinds of problems. Is it a good idea to proceed with that, or should be just let that be and focus on the Dem/Alz.?

It's pretty confussing.
Pamela, my heart goes out to you. You're not surprised by this, are you? I read everything I could get my hands on. There are some great Alz/Dementia books out there. The 36 Hour Day is very good to begin with, then there's a host of many more. Confused? More like shock, dismay, anger, bargaining, disbelief, then, dang, dang, dang. It's one of the most insidious diseases on the planet. I hate it! That diagnosis hits our psych like a ton of bricks. The more you read, the less confusing it feels. They say, "Don't tell the patient." Some say, "Do tell them." Whatever! My dad knew long before we did, and he told his closest friends long before us...until he could no longer conceal it. Wish he'd have told us! We could have helped! I know your mom will be blessed to have you as her angel, Pamela. Dement/Alz support groups are GREAT! Hugs, Pam.
O, yeah: take care of her teeth, which will contribute to her comfort when it's done. You'll have the rest of her life to focus on the ebbs and flows of her disease. Prayers going your way.
Pamela, Make sure they check Mom for a UTI. My mom is just getting to the end of one, and let me tell you!!! Her mentality gets totally altered when she has a UTI. The dementia only makes it worse. Mom actually acts like she has had a stroke, leaning to the left quite heavily, unable to walk, drooling, and high anxiety, which makes her hyperventilate and look like she is seizing. A couple days on an antibiotic, and she is like a different person. So please make sure they do a urine culture. It can save a lot of heartache. We actually had Mom committed twice, before we realized she was having frequent UTIs.
Good luck to you and your family. You have a long road ahead. I have been home with Mom 24/7 for over 2 years now. It has been a challenge!
Hi Pamela,

there's a sense of peace in knowing and now that your sis is getting/giving support you will be fine.
You know that it's a rough road ahead and it's easier when people get it and cooperate.

There is really no medical test that they can do to ID ALZ/DEM, but behavior is behavior and that's essentially the end of it.

I took my Mom to the 'NJ institute for succesful aging' (I swear they exist) and they put her through a battery of psych and motor skill tests and told me in private that we had about 3 years left with her. They were pretty close, she lasted another 5 years but after those first 3 years she was unable to do the basic things like make a sandwich, bathe, etc. In the last year she couldn't navigate the bathroom and the poop issues.

Pamela, you're doing the right thing. Just love and love freely. you're an angel and you have grown so much and if i can speak for us all, I would say that we are proud of you and love you very much.

Ditto! Excellent post, Bobbie!

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