Mom moved in and I'm going insane.

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Sorry, hit the wrong button before. Mom is 84, has a very bad heart, now a pacemaker, very bad hearing, dementia and she is depressed also. I'm depressed all the time too and feel like I'm in a box and can't breathe. She won't wear hearing aids and keeps the TV blasting day and night!
Dwjeanette, You have come to the right place. We all sympathize with you. We understand and "get it."

I know about how a difficult elderly parent can cause us to feel depressed. First of all, give yourself a pat on the back for being faithful and good to your mother. You are to be commended. There are things you can do to help yourself, one of which was coming to this website. In my case, I needed to get counseling, and go on medication to cope with the stresses of caring for my parents. I also began to set limits on what I was able to do for my parents, in order to take better care of myself. Next I had to learn to not feel guilty for setting these necessary limits. Then things started to smooth out. I was healthier and able to be a better caregiver to my parents.

My father also likes to keep the TV volume turned way up high and ( when I visited him at his old place) I would have to go into another room to get some peace. If your mother is living in your home, though, you have a right to set the volume at a level that you can stand.

It would probably be a good idea for you to see your doctor and get some help from him/her. In the meantime, hang in there....
Welcome. You came to the right place to vent. And you are in good company here, with those of us who understand. My heart goes out to you. Just wondering, is there a Plan B?
Hi dwj.

Welcome and know that all of us have felt like we're going insane as well. It's a feeling that doesn't go away that easily but you learn that you really aren't. I think that's one of the things I first wrote on here but it made me feel good to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way, it's very common.

You need to let your mom know that this TV is too loud and that she needs a hearing aid. But I have seen on TV ear plugs that can be purchased, look into that. If not set a limit now by telling her it's one of the other but the loud music can't continue.

I've learned from this website that it's good to get a handle on limitations early on. Wish I'd done that myself.

Stay on track by keeping us posted. As I have you will gain all the support you need from the wonderful panel here. We all care and we look forward to leaning on one another for support.

Good luck sweetie!
One of the best investments we made when my mom moved in: wireless headphones from Radioshack. About $50. Recharge station and batteries. You can set it up so you don't hear the TV at all or you can hear in the room and the patient can hear through the headphones.

You deserve a level of cooperation from your parent. Absolutely set limits.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

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