Mom may be getting better.
She is more alert according to the caregiver who wanted to spend time with her. She has ate some veggies, pudding and applesauce and has drank some coke. Speech therapy came by and us going to suggest that we add some thicker foods to her diet. My sister was there this morning and said the doctor still believes Mom is dying, but the nurses think she is better. My sister will be there later to see for herself.
I feel SO GUILTY for the thoughts I have had. I was prepared for her death (as much as you can be) and now that she may have turned the corner I feel bad because I am not jumping up and down. I am tired, physically and mentally. I don't know if she is going to gain enough strength to go home, or if we will move her to a nursing home. I know I am not being patient enough. I want my life back and feel guilty for wanting that. Unless she can get enough strength to help us transfer from bed to chair, etc I don't think I can handle her at home.