My mother is declining also. Alzheimers/dementia is a disease that slowly steals a person's soul but leaves the body. There is a person in the nursing home that doesn't recognize me or my father. It is like my mother died but her body didn't get the memo.
Lori, I could have written your post. I have the exact same feelings about my dear father. He is like a completely different person. I know it is sooo hard, Lori. Heaven knows, I have cried into my pillow at night, when I first realized that he was "losing" his beautiful, fun, caring personality. It seems like the most cruel blow to have to see this happen to one ( or both) of our parents. I could see the pain in my mother's eyes, before she died, as she witnessed this happening to her husband. My father's personality seems to be increasingly devoid of emotion, like he is "crusting over." In fact, coping with the pain of seeing this in my father is what brought me to this website. Every once in a while, I'll see a brief glimmer of Dad's former self/personality, and that is like a gift from God telling me that Dad is still in there. I don't know what else to say except know that others are with you "in the same boat" so to speak. With faith I try to trust God, that it will all make sense one day when we are in heaven. But I feel it is one of the hardest things to experience in life. Take care.
