Follow
Share

I'm taking care of mom alone who has advanced dementia. I recently took care of dad too, who passed away over a year ago. Each day it gets harder and more painful to deal with the loss. Seeing mom deteriorate more than I cant describe I difficult it is. I love her to death and as hard and draining as it is, she's my word and I don't for a minute want to lose her even when she's yelling and threatening me.
I don't mean to sound selfish but when she's gone ill literally have no one. I've read so many posts about the same thing. The problem is, I disabled, I unable to drive and walking and functioning is almost impossible. Even when someone comes to help, I am unable to go anywhere as I don't have the means or resources. I've been cut from the world and society for 9 years other than going to doctors. It's hard to imagine how it will be to cope with the outside world. A little while ago I went to the pharmacy (I saved up to pay someone to take me), it was so difficult and overwhelming that I walked out, leaving my 2 items behind. I thought it would be so exciting but I became more ill. (I suffer from chronic intractable abdominal pain after some failed surgery). Stress doesn't help!
I don't know how to feel that everything isn't hopeless because it is. I try to drown myself in just loving mom and that too is so painful as we all know. Losing her bit by bit is eating me up alive.
Sorry for saying all these things. I haven't had anyone to talk to for 9 years.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
You can get to someone's wall by clicking on their name. When the new screen opens it, it will say something like "write a message" and you type in your message there and it shows up in their News Feed, which is also their wall. If you want your message to be private, click on the check box on the upper right that says "private".

To find support groups, go to Googledotcom and put in "caregiver support groups" and your zip code. See what comes up and you should be able to find some in your area. You could also call your local hospital and ask about caregiver support groups.

It sounds like you need some home health care aids for mom so you can get out. Call your Area Agency on Aging to see what kinds of services are available in your area. You should be able to get some home health aids to come in to stay with mom so you can start to get out a bit to rejoin the world. If you have trouble doing any of this, just write another message here or click on my name and post your message on my wall and I'll answer you privately.
(0)
Report

Blanket. Thank you so much for your warm and kind words and support. I know you're right. I'm in a panic. I, dealing with a née health diagnosis. The person that's been helping us 3 hours a day is leaving in one month. I'm battling to get legal documents straitened out. I'm caring for mom almost 20/24 and the rest of the time I'm trying to fit sleep in. As I write this it's 8:00am. I've been up all night working and typing. I'm constantly burning out fires.

What is "the Wall". When you refer to posting ?
How do I get to support groups . I've been to counseling but with Medicaid it's limited and there are no councellors that have any idea about the ramifications of caregiving. Who will take care of mom while I'm I'm counseling?
(0)
Report

Behopeful I know what it's like to lose one parent and to be nearing the loss of a second. My dad passed away 5 years ago and my mom is coming to the end of her time on earth before too long. We spent three hours in the Emergency Room yesterday and I think this is just the beginning. I dread it. I have a brother who lives across the country, but he's been a non-event in terms of my mom's care.

What I would wish for you is to get some individual counseling and to join in a caregiver support group. You really need to reach out and get the ball rolling - don't wait until your mom is gone. Do it NOW. Call your local mental health agency to see what kind of help is available. If you need help in finding those resources, put a message on my wall and I'll help you. You are not alone. There are other people out there who can share your grief and help you feel strong enough to get back out there into the world. The rest of the world needs your loving, caring personality!
(2)
Report

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter