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Nothing more to say. I've grown to hate everything about her. She doesn't even know who I am.

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Willie, it's easy to project your own thoughts about things. I did that when my Mom was in nursing care too. You look around and all you see is despair and a rundown old bldg. with half dead people sitting around staring into space. I used to stand in front of Mom's nursing home and take a deep, settling breath before I pressed the code to come in, trying to avoid eye contact with the other residents cause I felt so sorry for them all it made me just want to bawl. I never thought I'd see the day that my dear Mom would end up in a place like that. I used to wonder if my Mom was thinking "couldn't they have found a better place for me" but that was me thinking that. Mom never complained. She was winding down her life and if she had been at the ritz she still would have slept most of the day, so think of it that way if you can. Maybe you are projecting your own feelings on your Mom. Keep your chin up!
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Cwillie,
We're lifting you up in thought tonight
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Cwillie, This is hard on you, I get that.
Your words, decisions, the way you have figured this all out makes perfect sense.

I know you have eyes on your Mom's situation. I just want to be supportive.
I trust your assessment, that your despair about the place is not felt as deeply by your Mom is true and accurate.

Keep talking this out to gain the acceptance you need.
You have been Mom's hero for so long now.
Getting a little help from friends here and your sister-it's time, it's ok.

See you over on the dinner thread...is there any more Italian on the menu?
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Send, I plan to move mom to the NH in my town when a room is available, but that will be months from now. This is the place I was so disgusted with when she was there for respite, so I doubt there will be an improvement in her care, but it will be closer.

Hmm, I've rewritten this 5 times trying to get the words to come out right.... I think maybe my own despair about the place isn't felt as deeply by my mom, I've got to learn to step back and accept that it's OK.
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Cwillie,
Will you be considering a change in the NH?
Are there any better choices-I guess if there were, you would do that.
Thinking of you.....
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Cwillie
I suspect your sister has already detached from worrying about mom ?

Milk shakes and French fries are a good combo
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Cwillie, If I were visiting today, and I am in cyber space, I would prefer the
PB &J sandwich with french fries. What time is dinner? Got milk?
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Comfort food, more like a feast of junk food I stashed away in the freezer that was supposed to be out of sight, out of mind. Nanaimo bars and french fries, anyone?

Sis was here to help move mom in so she has been to the NH before. She thought mom seemed OK today. She also says she is willing herself to find the positive and ignore the negative, great idea if you can pull it off.

How old is the NH wing? I know I visited there as a child and it wasn't new then lol. One of my first thoughts was that this old building is a fire trap, but I also noticed there are sprinklers and automatic fire doors.
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Won't that be a shocker for Sis, visiting the nursing home? Is this her first visit?

After retirement, there should be a law.  One that says we will never have to wait in long lines again, especially at the elavator.  oh wait!  There are laws...
Fire Code quick evacuation laws in case of fire. There is a fire escape?  How old is this place?
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Can you make yourself some comfort food for dinner, cWillie?
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Pouring rain all morning kept me inside grumbling. Sis came up to have lunch with mom so I didn't have to deal with that today. Mostly I'm wasting time on line. I've had years of practice doing absolutely nothing, I'm pretty good at it ;)
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So what are you doing today?
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You're a sweetheart Send. I'm no hausfrau, I consider my house clean enough and won't be doing any major Spring cleaning.
As for eating in mom's room, definitely No. Uh, uh. No way. Maybe when the weather warms up we can try snacks out on the patio.
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Cwillie,
Did you skip your spring cleaning because caregiving took precedent?
How about ordering up some carpet cleaner company? Nothing too big to wear you out.

What about once or twice a week you tell the staff that Mom won't be at the table and you share lunch with her in her room?  You bring your own, bring Mom's tray up to her room?  Maybe there are rules?

.
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I remember that conversation - early March, and I finally did mine that first week of March - now I'm ready to go back for another cut and a touch up of the color. It grows SO darn fast. Not sure if I should do the color now or wait, since I have travel coming up in June and would like it to look good then.
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Yeah, now I remember! Early March, talking about getting our spring hairdos.....
That is exactly why I cut my own hair, keeping it shoulder length even though shorter may be more comfortable.

Can you use some styling gel, maybe spike it? Videos online can help.

My condolences on your hair. Hoping it soon suits you better.
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Remember me whining about the ultra short haircut, I think it was 2 months ago? It is just getting long enough to come past the tops of my ears, I could go back to tidy it up but I am afraid!!
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Cwillie, When was the last time you had your hair done? That would be part of the respite activities, imo.

As a dishwater blonde, I am thinking of going natural with grey and whatever will be growing in, so I watched tons of youtube videos on how to grey, while still looking vibrant. Oh well, nothing wrong with staying blonde. But a friend went all gray natural, it looks great, she's only 60.
Then, there are makeup videos for women over 60.
I color and cut my own hair, except for the few rescue professional cuts per year. So, mostly I avoid the mirrors.
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Sleep? Did someone say sleep? What's that?
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Yes, where eagles dare to fly. Fer sure.................:)
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I know there is a time difference, but it seems to me you folks never sleep, there is always so much to read when I get up in the morning. I slept well last night, but the night before I got up and made myself a pb&j sandwich (screw the diet plan) and read until 4ish. No worries, I can sleep in now if I need to.
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Can't sleep, can't find my teddy bear.
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Gershun,
It's true then, about you. You go where eagles fly.
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We get blue herons here in Vancouver Send and there are tons of eagles here too. There is one specific area near one of our suburbs here which is basically an eagle conservatory. They are always soaring overhead. Actually, I'll probably see them tomorrow cause I'm going near there to get the blue taken out of my hair tomorrow. I'm going back to purple..........just wasn't feeling the blue. Although, I do feel blue sometimes......just not blue hair. Oh, and we have a nude beach here. It's called Wreck beach. I've never been but I've heard the stories. :P
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Cwillie, back to you.....Im done too. Lol.
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Ham and cheese sandwich, late night.  Hubs doesn't want one.
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Oh, MsMadge, We're always up so late, how does one compute the middle of the night? Especially if one is up at 2:00 or 3:00 a.m.?

Those bad birds, there is an entire car to poop on! The crows drop it on the drivers side window where they know I'll see it! They do it on purpose, I'm sure!

There is no leaving the driveway until it's squirted off!  (By hubs, of course!)
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Then you hug your squeaky teddybear lying next to you, lost in the covers.

Or you get up and raid the fridge, find the chocolate.
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Send

What if you're lonely in the middle of the night?
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We get those squawky wild parrots - pretty but loud

Lately my car has been a target for bird poop - and while parked in the driveway - odd places too
The tire - the drivers door
It's like they're trying to irritate me - lol
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