I wrote months ago about a gold digger 20 years younger then my father moving in with him after 1 month now they are engaged.

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I am soooo scared for my dad emotionally and financially. He is with a woman who is manipulating him in every way and he does not see it. He has turned his back to his own family who he has always been close with. He is almost 80years old and I am sooo scared for him and don't know what to do. I can't seem to get him to open his eyes.


I hear ya, but I also have to say that your dad probably is well aware of being her ATM, but that's not the 'brain' he's thinking with these days most likely. After all, why in the world would a 20 something woman want an old man except for his money? Now if he were Sean Connery I might have to rethink my answer....
I remember your original post...so sorry that you were able to prevent this travesty. I think these old goats know EXACTLY what they are doing. They are spending their last few dollars on "services rendered."
I highly recommend that you disengage from this circus. Stop worrying about him and get on with your life. If he calls, speak to him kindly, but do not get roped into the drama. When he needs health care, step back and let the new, young, energetic wife do everything.
You cannot control what any other human being does. He made his wishes known loud and clear. I find these leaches and the men who go for it disgusting. Your father has no empathy for what he is putting his family through. When she cleans him out, let him suffer the consequences. I have had enough of self-centered parents!!
Just to be clear the woman is not in her 20's she is 20 years younger then him. She is 60 years old. But still she has already been married twice why does she need to get married again and to a man who is 80 years old. You don't need a ring and a piece of paper to be in love and care for one another. This woman has a history of going after older men.
If my mom or dad were still alive, I'd wonder about the situation
too. Now, when my mom was still alive, (my step-dad had passed away 2 1/2-3 yrs. earlier). I never thought that she'd want somebody else in her life. It was her way or the highway with us kids. My step-dad was a real German (I want dinner on the table at this time and no later). She met a really nice guy who I think was a few yrs. older than her. She passed away while dating him, unfortunately. She seemed to get mellower while going out with him. He made her last months happier (for her and for us to be around her).
It could be that the woman that he's now engaged to may only want companionship. ...but I see your concern. I was concerned about my mom too. It doesn't just happen to men, it can happen to women also. I know if my husband ever passed away, I'm done with men. ...but then, the like bug may bite again. ...and then turn into the love bug. I came straight out and asked my mom after losing so much sleep over thinking about it. She reassured me that he wasn't a gold-digger and that she only wanted his companionship, so I felt much better about the situation when she brought him around.
I still see him off and on at the gym, and he's got Parkinson's Disease (PD) now--although you would never know it (except for his hands shaking & he moves slow. He still drives, but I think he will have to stop driving soon. ...but my mom had Diabetes and Diverticulitis. Your dad is a big boy. I wouldn't work yourself up over it. If it works out, it works out. Some do, some don't. Some people feel that you do need a ring & a piece of paper & some don't feel like you need it. ((((((HUGS)))))). Good luck!
Same thing happened here with father-in-law. Thought he really wanted to trade marriage for companionship but she wanted to get his wallet. No reason why someone 22 years younger would marry a sick old man except to get his money and possessions. She did make off with some when he died, but the joke was on her when her son was left as POA and executor. Haven't had a word from her in 2+ years as soon as she took her goodies and left town.
Not much you can do. Hope he is OK, let the authorities know if you suspect abuse. Otherwise it is his choice no matter how foolish...
Hey, I am almost 60 and I would never even think of marrying a 80 year old man (my Mom is 80). My husband is three years younger and he is old enough for me. Just nothing but a gold digger you can bet. But unless you can talk him out of marrying her, not much you can do. My MIL was involved with a scam artist (truly, had been in jail). He was her age but a real piece of work. Her children finally proved to her his intent and she let him go. Also the Miami Dade Police gave him a warning, they really couldn't do much but keep an eye on him and do background check, etc. Maybe you can talk your Dad into not marrying her just live together or a prenup anything to scare her off. That worked with my Uncle, the gold digger took off when she realized he wasn't marriage material and she was 50 and he was 70ish. These predators are out there just waiting to grab some old person, disgusting.
My oldest sister and BIL are in their early 60's and my brother is 60 yrs. old. Sometimes, they are gold diggers and sometimes it's just someone looking for companionship. As I said in a previous post, my mom began seeing a gentleman who was in her senior citizen singing group and he was, I think, 5-7 yrs. older than my mom when she passed away. I mean I didn't learn that until close to her death. ...but they just enjoyed being together. If this situation of yours is truly a golddigger going after your dad's money, then I would talk him into getting her to sign a pre-nup. Although, I know how hard that can be when you're dealing with an older person. If she truly just wants to spend time with him, then she won't mind it one bit. I guess I try to look at the positive side of things. After all, he's a grown man. ...but if it makes you better, go for the pre-nup. ((((HUGS)))) & good luck!
I agree with both. Could be either...Just a wait and see and hope he is safe. Nothing else to do...
I want to thank everyone for their kind comments.

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