I will have to stop work soon to be at home with mother and possibly father.

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mother is blind and diabetic and father has problems with heart and sight some. If i stop work i still need some income to maintain here at home when i stop my job.


I recently quit my job to care for my parents and my 3 kids (6, 5 and 1 years). My husband works, but I was the breadwinner, and losing 3/4 of our income has been difficult. However, I am conservator and guardian for both of my parents, and they live with me. The courts have approved for me to get a certain percentage of their income for household use, so we are able to stay afloat by doing that. You should go see a lawyer and file for guardianship and conservatorship over your parents. Your siblings (if you have any) will have to approve it, but since you're the one caring for your parents, even if they don't approve it the courts may grant it anyway.

Also, be prepared for a transition period. I'm 32, and I am college educated, and at first you will feel like your education and all your hard work is wasted. You may be slightly depressed, as it's a big change to go from a career that you've worked hard for to 100% domestic caretaker. But it's rewarding in differnt ways, and after about 2 months, you'll be feeling like yourself again. Good luck!
Many of us, cannot quit! I am too close to retirement to quit now and have no one else as the breadwinner..so what I do is have a caregiver during the day and then I take over at night...you might want to think about that first...it will be tough to get a good job later on!
Hi Nadine! As ceejay03 said, it's rewarding in different ways. But before you decide, weigh your options. What is your age? What are the chances that you can get back to work when you do decide to get back to it out of the dire need to work again because of obvious practical financial reasons. I guess I figured it out here the best caregivers are those in the ages of 35-55. If you're beyond 60 and you care for 70+ years old parents, the two of you both have the signs of old age and might not be in the mood to bear each other. Sorry but that's how I see it. Caring for elderly parents is not just maturity, compassion and understanding. One must also have the stamina and agility to work quickly efficiently. I'm into my 7 1/2 months of unemployment with no actual real tangible benefits from the government and savings is really up to me. I am still enjoying being at home taking care of both mom & daughter, but at night I stay awake thinking how I can remain like this for another 5 or 6 months or another year. I do worry and it shows in my blood pressure LOL. Just trying to make you love. God bless you. There's no easy way out of this. Check my comment on my own profile, you will see there an article from Ireland about how parent's old age caring can ruin you financially. Especially if it's the same case as my mom who just lingers on in this planet with Alzheimer's and not being productive at all. Once I let her guard my house, in less than 25 minutes that I was away going to school somebody came inside and stole my daughter's cell phone! See how "useful" she is in guarding her own turf???! GRRRRRRRRR!!!
PirateQueen, I agree with you. Many of us here cannot afford to quit. I "quit" because I was sacked out of office. But if not for my boss lossing int he election last year, I still see myself employed and not quit. I weight my options. All three of us in the family will greatly benefit (despite the negative side of being often away from home) if I remain at work. Plus I gain savings for my own future thru pension contributions, health insurance coverage etc etc. To Nadine -- don't quit yet, if you can, take a walk, weigh your options very very closely and visualize yourself if you are caring full time. Visualization helps really. How old are you? Are you married with kids or husband who can help around caregiving? If you will do it all alone trying to be superwoman/superhero to both mom & dad?... in less than a month you'll be burned out baby. Don't try to be the solution to their problems. Cuz you just can't you're only human with your own needs & limitations. Remaining employed is one very difficult issue that runs right out in contrary to the demands of caregiving. And both becomes fulltime duties that one cannot just give 50% of his or her own time. Otherwise both suffers in terms of quality, attention given to the tasks, time devoted for such task, etc. In the end you will burn yourself out and cry out loud here in exhaustion, disgust and misery. Welcome to the club! Yo can always vent here! Or as others have discovered just like me, you can either care without giving, or not care but give, or do the two or none of the two. At the end of the day, it's all up to you.
Please do not quit your job or you will be one of the many, many people writing asking how they get paid?; they can't stand it anymore, it is affecting your health and they have no health insurance. You are already saying you need some income. Please get in touch with your siblings, speak to your parents, and get an elder attorney about poa to handle your parents' finances to be able to hire caregivers to help out during the day, then you can take over at night, with respite caregivers lined up for times you need to do things nights or weekends. To honor your father and mother does not mean to quit your job to take care of them.
I agree that income is hard to come by when you quit, and that insurance is difficult to obtain. We're lucky in that my husband carries insurance for the family. However, if your income is low enough if you quit your job, you can qualify for Medicaid in many instances. Before you quit, check with your local social services office to see what programs you may qualify for (already mentioned Medicaid, food stamps, etc.). Hiring caregivers is a good option if you don't want to quit, as suggested by LME, however, it's very, very pricey. If your parents are on a fixed income, it's nearly impossible to afford. We went on vacation for a week once and had a live-in caregiver for that time. The bill was almost $1500, and that was on the inexpensive side for my area. Also, sometimes the stress of missing work can mess with your health as much as the stress of worrying about money and being a full-time caregiver. Trust me - with 3 kids and both parents in my house, I constantly worried about getting fired. Some mornings I would dread going in because I knew someone would be calling me at some point with an emergency of some kind. Since I have quit, my health has greatly improved. But like others have said, doing this is not for everyone. I'm fairly young (32) and can eventually get back into the job market when this phase of my life is done. It may be harder if you're in an older demographic. Like everything else, this is a decision that only YOU and your family can make - take in everyone else's advice, but make sure that you do what is right for your situation.
I think an elder law attorney can help you draw up a caregiver's contract to be paid out of your parents assets if you plan on taking care of them. A certain amount that you agree on and have it in writing, etc. I am caring for my mom but plan on going back to work in a few months and will have to get a daytime caregiver. It's hard either way, staying home or working. At least work gets you out of the house with other people, etc.
good luck with your decision.

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