I've just found your very helpful website - everything you say is so true and I can relate as having been sole Carer now for 6 years.
Mum has Alzheimers - and although we've been through the 'violent/abusive' stage - am afraid to say that it's reoccurring. Am now at the end of my tether and feel it's time that she has full time Professional Care in a pleasant Residential Care Home. I've always said I wouldn't - but I can't take any more and after having put my own life on hold for 6 years now - i feel i must start thinking about my own health and well being. I've done my best. Feel so sad too.can for her