I think I may be losing it!
My mother, age 89, has heart disease/CHF and dementia. I am a part-time caregiver. She lives in her own home and has someone in four hours per day to help. I do the shopping, cooking, and meet other needs. This is the question: Yesterday I called her on the phone to check in and she told me that she has blue eyes. Well, they have always been brown. She said my brother told her they are blue. I kept insisted that her eyes are brown (I know this is wrong). Anyway, in as much as she has had eye problems and eye surgery, or maybe because I am wondering if I am losing it here, I did a really crazy thing. I asked her to put her caregiver on the line and I asked the caregiver "what color are her eyes". The answer was, of course, brown. Now, I knew this all along, so whatever made me even have to check my own reality. Am I losing touch with reality here or what? It scares me that I would be even doubting, no matter how small that doubt, the reality of the situation. I recognize that this is an odd question, but it is bothering me that I even asked the question. The bigger question is this: can you lose your mind caring for a person who is ill with dementia, listening to things that cannot be true all the time? Now, of course, I am really embarrassed to even be posting this as it sounds crazy to me. The truth is I have been majorly stressed in a number of areas in my life and I have come to doubt my perception of things at times due to so many losses in a short period of time. Thank you.