Follow
Share

Yes, you read that right. What a day.....I don't even have a whole lot of detail. Other to say I am so ashamed of myself but yesterday when my brother visited and Mama went from a catatonic sleeping beauty to a comedian on the Tonight Show upon the mere sight of him, I just give up. It must be nice to get to live your life exactly as you choose and show up once a week for an hour or two and Mama treats him like he is the be all end all of all time. Forever Mr. Awesome, the golden boy of all golden boys...and all I am is a pack mule. After putting up with her staring at me and refusing to eat today and crapping one load after another, I just lost my mind and mooned her...and yes I am ashamed. I am going to h*ll.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
bookluvr...nope, I was the quiet one...the one who never caused any problems, the one who always did as I was told...that got old in my twenties
(0)
Report

You have nerve! I wouldn't dare do that... You must have been one wild teenager! Or led a very adventurous life.
(0)
Report

You are very stress out and probably burnt out and you probable come from a family like mine with a sense of humor on top of it all. lmao No worry's so you moon her, I am laughing my head off right now I think its no big deal. Your not going to hell there is no hell period.
(0)
Report

She used to get furious with me when I even hinted she might want me to run some bath water for her. Have run the gamut from being sweet (not my nature, ha-ha), putting in some bubble bath, making things all cozy, offering to help to getting angry, which seldom accomplishes much. She does occasionally take a washcloth to herself but we all know that don't quite take care of business. And don't get me started on brushing teeth. I lay things out for her and she may or may not try to use them. I do change her sheets and wash her clothes all the time though she will hide her dirty underwear sometimes, which as you guys can imagine aren't hard to find after awhile. My sister and niece tell me their dogs probably get bathed more often than mom does, and I sure believe it. Oh well.
(0)
Report

Spraying her down with Glade- I never thought of that. Thank you!
(0)
Report

Cidy take her outside and hose her down then she will have to take her clothes off and you can spring into action with mop and bucket.
(1)
Report

I love it. Tops my spraying mom with Glade because she smells so bad and won't take a bath. I laughed when I did it, which felt better. But she still stinks.
(1)
Report

Good idea Susan
(0)
Report

FadingShadows brings up an excellent point. Think I'm going to start a new thread on this - might help enlighten many people - maybe even ourselves!
(1)
Report

Hope, agree with Chicago, get your Mom into a NH. My line in the sand is bedridden or chair bound. I took Mom to a really nice ALF only 6 miles from the house, she wouldn't even try to like it. When I brought her home, she said it was nice, but she'd rather stay here (no real surprise there) anyway, I told her that was fine but when she can't get around anymore, she will have to go to a NH. That is keeping her on her feet and moving around. My back won't hold up to holding and turning, have already injured it from the last time she fell and we got her up, still having problems that don't seem to want to go away.

Bedridden needs 24/4 nursing care and you are working all 3 shifts. Too much for one person.
(4)
Report

LOL. Your mom is show boating so badly. She can probably do a lot more than she lets on. I saw my Mother act this way, after her dependence led to my sister's early death. She had lived alone just fine, then, when we all gathered for the funeral, she could no longer stand up w/o a 45 yo grandson running to her aid.

She is fine, now - in the NH, but if we visit for more than 3 days, she becomes dependent again.

I would suggest that you get mom the 24/7 care, that she needs. You and she will both be better off.
(3)
Report

Maybe now you something for when tensions rise...you can say..don't make me moon you mom!
(4)
Report

I am happy to report we made it through this day sailing nice and smooth. She actually laughed about the "Moon over Mymammie" episode this afternoon...but she did say she was going to tell my brother on me....oh well...I'll admit it.....thank God for a nice day.....
(2)
Report

Thank you for making me smile today! My husband has been a handful the past couple of days and your post hit home. We all get pushed to our breaking point and this was yours. Thank you for sharing.
(2)
Report

Hope if you were my daughter, I would moon you back! What goes around comes around. The full moon is the 12th. Go moon the man in the moon!!!
(3)
Report

if ya moon me , better call the crash rescue people to break my jawbones . if i bite ya on the azz , i dont let loose for a while ..
(3)
Report

Moon your Mom Day should be a national holiday, with parades and speeches and a mass mooning on the White House lawn.
(5)
Report

If I mooned my mom...I would be laughing so hard that mom would be too.
(3)
Report

Nah moonings nothing but if you start to do this to her in public THEN id get help!! ive given mum the fingers behind her back she pushes me to extreme limits like today and always when im out she said she had to clean up????? lucky shes mad!
(1)
Report

Hope,

HAAH! I sure laughed at your post! When I got mid way through it, I also felt very bad for you as I already knew where you were going with it. Listen, I'm sure many here for all the putting up w/difficult caregiving may have given it a thought to do this. Actually, I think this was brave on your part, and don't feel bad, sometimes we do have to do some theater therapy, with no expectations about our performance. I thought this was hilarious.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux
(2)
Report

Well Hope have you considered when the ambulance comes to take Mom to respite just give them bros address
(5)
Report

And the thought of hanging it out the window in a full moon salute as I roll up the road makes me smile....a pleasant thought indeed!
(1)
Report

LOL...yes, I truly wish they would have to do it ALL for just one week, even though that is nothing as they would at least see a light at the end of the tunnel so it would still be easier on them, but it would be a huge wakeup call for them. Sadly, they will not do it, would not even consider it. He has told me that when it gets to much for me we will put her in the NH and sell her house...he doesn't even know enough about any of this to understand that he can't sell anything, this would go to Medicare via the NH or vice versa...

I sat down with Mama this morning and told her I was sorry about all the upset last night and that today was going to be a better day. I told her I was sorry I mooned her. She told me, "well, that's about as bad as it gets....about the worst thing I ever saw" bahahahahahaha.....bless her heart. I told her I was not proud of myself and that I loved her and I was just really tired. She told me, "well, you've got a lot of loads on you"...it's like sometimes she does understand that I do not have an easy road here....so onward and forward. It has been a good morning. Here's to everyone and hoping we all have a great day....
(1)
Report

Hope, you are my hero! I've often given the finger to my horrible MIL when we talk on the phone. She can't see it, and I find it soooo refreshing to flip her off when she yammers on about the same old self-centered stuff that she's been saying for years.
You, my friend, have kicked it up a notch, and I salute you for it. (Not with my middle finger, but with a real salute.)
Perhaps your brother's wife needs a hobby to put some excitement in her life. Try dropping your mother off at the lavish lake house as a surprise for her. It will brighten up her boring existence to have a bedridden old lady to take care of. As a bonus, your mom can be with her golden boy all the time. Think how nice that will be for him!
Just leave mom on the doorstep in the dark of night and take off for parts unknown. You can blow the horn and chuck a moon out the window as you drive off into the night.
(5)
Report

I'm sorry, but that statement just struck me as hilarious.
(2)
Report

Oh my, Hope! You just gave all of us a much needed hearty laugh!

"...can only lift her head from the pillow a slight bit (to observe a full moon or whatever)" BAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!
(3)
Report

Veronica91...I think I DID put it behind me...haha.....yes, yesterday was a huge wakeup call to me. I think I like to believe I can handle anything. It is killing me that I no longer handle anything, I just manage to make it one day at a time. I am having serious crisis of faith. I am a believer,but do find myself questioning everything I ever believed in these days. My brother would never give us money for anything so we're out of luck there. It's all his and he plans on keeping it..ha.....I am planning on getting her in respite for the allotted time asap and will talk to the nurse today. On a more immediate note, last night, after the moon shown brightly, I texted my cousin and asked her if she could come and let me just get out of here for the day and she said she could I am going to try to get an appointment to have my hair cut by someone who actually does it for a living (instead of myself who has been doing it) and then use the rest of the day to just do something for me. I know if I do not I am liable to do something that might not be so funny next time.

The insane thing is I did not even get a rise out of her over it. She just stared at me and look disgusted ( I'm sure she was) and laid back down.

Another bad thing for us here is that Mama is totally bedridden...She lives in this bed, can only lift her head from the pillow a slight bit (to observe a full moon or whatever) so there is no getting her anywhere else unless it is by ambulance to respite care....All the lifting, all the turning, all of it is on me. It finally just built up...thanks for all the encouragement. yesterday was truly a wakeup call . I know how angry I was and am glad that it came out in the form of a lunar appearance...next time I might not so lucky...thanks again.
(4)
Report

Kathy it was the equivalent of a tamtrum "I will scream and scream till I am sick" You are just so frustrated and feel powerless, just put it behind you.
Hugs to you
(1)
Report

I too find this hilarious. That is one way to get her attention. hahaha If it makes you fel better, you made my day. It wasn't violent or abusive, as the wise vegas lady says shrug it off; get back in the game . Buy her some flowers, and yourself some too you deserve them., make her favorite meal. It's not the first time she has seen your butt.

On the more serious side, this is a wake up call. You need breaks, some time to yourself. Talk to your brother. If he can't give you respite care, he can pay for you to hire somebody. Maybe a housekeeper to take some of the drudge work off you, or a companion for your mother. Better yet let him take his Mom for weekends at the palace. Handle this now, don't let it escalate. Thanks for the laugh.
(2)
Report

Does it make me a bad person if I think this is hilarious? Good for you to find a safe way to express your feelings!! And no, you're not going to h*ll…you're already there, so when it's over enjoy the heck outta yourself :)
(4)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter