I live with my 74-year-old dad and my two young children. My dad won't bathe or change clothes regularly. The house reeks.

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The smell permeates all of our clothes. He is a heavy smoker but alot of the odor is just unclean. He has multiple health conditions, broken neck(neuro intact), atrial fib, pacemaker, emphysema. But he is capable of doing most things for himself. However he sleeps most of the days away. He does nothing or very little to help housework. I do about 95% of everything but I also raise 2 girls by myself and work full time at a very stressful job. My nerves are fried. Sometimes I don't know whether I should be concerned or if this is drama and/or laziness.I don't know whether to push him some or just take over. But I feel like I can't keep up wearing this many hats on my own. My own health has been very poor over the last 3 yrs, including GYN surgeries, blood transfusions and autoimmune diseases that make my body attack itself. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to break under the pressure of it all. I was only able to get back on my feet 4 months ago. Is it just me?

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He may be showing signs of dementia which you should alert his doctor to. If in fact he is showing signs, he can be put on Aricept or Namenda to help slow down the progress. Trust me, you'll want to get him on that ASAP it only gets worse from there if you don't. Usually when elders start neglecting their hygiene it's a sign but it could also mean other factors so it's best to seek medical help. When my mom first was diagnosed, I brushed it off as her not caring or just being old. Normal aging does not involve that. I was ignorant to the disease. You are definitely in the right place to ask. I think that in your situation if you are the only one, you really need to look into hiring some outside help. I don't want to bombard you with information but the first place you should go to is your nearest eldercare or senior center and ask for help in finding resources. You can find one by going to your state's website and navigating to the Dept of Aging.

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