I know I'm not alone in my thoughts but most of the time I feel like I am.

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I am so burnt out and my family will not help. I have had Mom living with me for almost 3 years now, she is not in the shape that I would even consider putting her in a nursing home but my patients are warring thin and sometimes I feel like I just can't do this anymore. I love her dearly and some how will figure this out but I also become so angry about every few months and reach out to all of you for help.

I am fortunate to have a day time care giver and I know some are not so I do feel very fortunate in that aspect. My main issue is I have no time to myself. This makes me feel very guilty for feeling this way but for almost 3 years I go to work and come home, weekends consist of sitting here with Mom, she never wants to go anywhere. We had to jump through hoops just to go out tonight and I will worry about her until I get home. My family refuses to help me and tells me that they are happy with their life and there is no way that they will help.

I often feel like I'm on a roller coaster with my emotions. I can't understand how my family could be this way.My sister tells me that she is here for me and I need to let her know when I need help but I have called her in tears asking for help and then the excuses come on why she can't and they are so ridicules, she always has an issue and claims to be totally stressed out but if you could here her excuses you would laugh. I have told her over and over I'm about ready to loose my mind. She agreed to take Mom for 3 months, told me that a few weeks would not help my state of mind right now because I'm to far gone and tired, well the next day she backed down to one month and now is trying to even get out of this. How do all of you in this situation not hate your family? I have always been very laid back and easy going but lately my friends and co workers even notice that I'm not myself and need help desperately. I would appreciate any thoughts or comments on dead beat family members.


I love the title of your discussion. The reason I keep coming back to this site is because sometimes a brave person will open up and confess to some really negative feelings. That's why we don't feel alone. These days I talk to myself..........to keep from going crazy! Oh no! Guess talking to myself is crazy all by itself. Both my "charges" are hard of hearing so they don't hear me talking to myself anyway. Ugh. Am I the only one?
Oh Aveeno today I woke up with the same attitude...

You are not alone..

The guilt.. The frustration of selfish siblings..The feeling that my husband and kids are thinking is Mom going to be like this forever...

With me I know 50% of it is Christmas... I work myself up every holiday knowing that my sibs will won't visit or invite Mom ... Oops gotta go..

To be continued.,........
My brother lives with mom. I live about an hour and a half way. But he has a personality disorder. And is very selfish. He takes her to the doctor, gets the groseries. Things like that. Everything else I have to help her with. She is co-dependent with him. So that makes things harder for me to help her.
Can you take a few hours to your self on the weekends and do something at home. Read a book, listen to music, do yoga. Watch tv or movies you rent from the library or redbox? Also, take a walk around the block, depending where you live?


Aveeno, I don't even consider my siblings in care plans for my mother. I know one would help a little, but he would do it in such a way that it would be weird to me. He wouldn't be able to help for long, and I understand that. So when I can't take care of my mother at home anymore, she'll go to a facility. It will not be easy. She'll probably hate and disown me, but I'll know it is for the best. She has some money to pay for her care, so it is the logical thing to do.

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