I just lost my Mom who was diagnosed with stage 4 lung and spinal cancer.

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My mother was diagnosed in August of 2013 with stage 4 lung cancer. It just blind sided us. This was the last thing we were expecting. We (She) went through radiation and chemo for a few months with no help and she decided to go on Hospice. Day by day she got worse and I lost her the day before Thanksgiving 20 days after her 58th birthday. It has been so hard without her. I miss her every day and every second. My heart literally aches :( It takes all that i have to just get out of bed and function.
When we found out that she was ill i just couldn't return back to my job so I had to quit to become her full time caregiver. 2 months before she was diagnosed i was fine, financially i was alright but now i struggle daily with how I am supposed to take care of everything with no income and i am becoming more and more depressed. I would never change what I did as far as quitting my job to take care of her, because that is what i was supposed to do.
I just feel so lost and don't know how to pick up the pieces and continue on.


Hospice has grief support groups, maybe you could attend one. They do talk about picking up the pieces. You might see your MD too for a check-up that you never had time for, including a chest xray.
I am sorry for the heartache you are experiencing, but am glad to see you here...we are here for this part too.... like Pam said, contact Hospice and see how they can help..... this is hard no matter how long the illness was... it is hearbreaking.... so we hope you seek out some help..... and please come back and let us know how you are doing.... sending hugs and prayers...
My heart breaks for you and from similar experience with my dad some years ago, know that you are probably depressed and actively grieving. A physical exam is the best place to start to rule out other issues. From there, books, prayer, support groups and grief therapy might be right for you. The grief is a process, a journey if you will, that you must process over time. However, it should not be incapacitating for months. Please reach out and talk to someone who can validate your feelings and listen to your pain. It helps to journal, too. Recording your thoughts and feelings orders them and helps you move forward. You are in my prayers. Please take care of yourself.
Oh I am so sorry.. I agree with all the suggestions above..Hugs..
Sorry for your loss. This is never easy, but for now, you've got to take care of yourself... your mom would be adamant that you get yourself up and going again. Please don't dwell for too long in that dark place.

Take care of you!
Maxie, I too am so sorry to learn this sad news. You were right to post here; there's a lot of compassion and support. And remember that you were there for your mother when she needed help the most - never forget the role you played in helping her through her last days.

I too had a rough time regrouping after my mother and then my sister died. I just wanted to sleep or read; it was hard to focus on moving forward.

Grieving is a natural process; accept it, don't be hard on yourself, and know that eventually, when you feel ready, you can move on.

In the meantime, I agree about trying to find a support group, including one focused specifically on the cancer experience.

I found that going to art classes at the infusion center where my sister had chemo really helped me. The center was absolutely beautiful, calm and serene. We sat in a sun drenched small room and learned colored pencil art. Others participated in ceramics work.

Focusing on art is for me transcendental. Just the process of moving pencils over paper, watching the color and depth change, and seeing the final results took me out of my grief and into a beautiful world.

The magazine CURE is an excellent one with a variety of articles, including grief. It's in print and online.

Pet therapy also helps. Perhaps you could volunteer to work at a local shelter for a little while. Puppy love can work magic.

I really don't have any suggestions for income while you're working through your grief except to perhaps trying just working part time at a job which isn't too demanding.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

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