I have been having overwhelming feelings of sadness from anticipatory grief and from what seems to be the withdrawal of my longtime friends.
My father, soon-to-be 97, has been with us seven years. We recently brought in hospice and that really gives me a break; however, he is doing quite well. I suppose the guilt comes in whereas I know he will die someday but not knowing when is so difficult. I know this sounds terrible but I am ready for him to go but he keeps going like the energizer bunny. At the same time, I know I will be devastated when the time comes. Does this make sense? I just want my life back and now that it seems my friends are nowhere to be found it makes it even harder. My husband and I now have a sitter who comes on Tuesdays and we get away for eight hours. I am trying to get back to the gym. I recently sent an email out to two friends telling them I have set aside Thurs evenings for movie/pool/get together if they are interested. Tonight is the first night and i have not heard from anyone. So, I will watch the movie and have my wine by myself I guess. Is this a problem with any other caregivers and how do you cope with it?