I really hate Facebook, everyone has a wonderful life on there, while I'm in the spiritual battle of my life!

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I took a week off didn't call my folks it was so painful. They're still in the nursing home. The court date for Guardianship 1/27, of which they both have no idea is going to happen. I called them today dad said they have Pneumonia so I had to bother the nurses to find out what the heck is going. They said they've been trying to call me for days but get only a busy signal, everyone else gets through I don't know what they're doing on their end!
I hate that my folks are where they are miserable sick, their house hasn't been occupied in months. Mother said the sisters called to Killer Ant 2 to volunteer to go house sit REALLY I BET! I don't know what's the truth when I speak to them, all I know is I'm an emotional wreck afterwards. My dad did tell me he loved me, and I was able to pray with mother on the phone for their comfort!
I also decided to torture myself further hence " I HATE FACEBOOK" title summary I went back on facebook to see my X is having the time of his life and I just imploded from their. I HATE FACEBOOK!!!!!!! What I really can't stand is I' scared, alone, in need of comfort, jobless, damn it I'm depressed! I have a blood line that if I didn't know we were related I wouldn't speak to them after the first introduction. I've been comparing old classmates lives and successes to my upside down screwed up lousy life wondering what flyin fayhenie is next! Yes I'm whiny and miserable and if I didn't have to be around me I'd leave but I don't have a choice.
Sorry guys I just needed to vent I'm in need of a rescue, I'm so lost right now!!!!! I've got to believe God has something wonderful on the other side of this! I just can't see the other side, I'm dying to so many of my old bad behaviors, thought processes, belief systems about what's important and what's real!
DOES ANYONE know what I'm saying...... I feel so damaged I may never come back. Talking the job counselor gave me know hope at all for a future. I feel NUTS, TOTALLY NUTS RIGHT NOW! Where's the tuna can's the blue tights, my tiara and the magic bracelets cause I'm coming UNDONE!

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1brokenshoe, thanks for asking! My dad is well from pneumonia now. They are still in the nursing home. Monday and I feel very stupid I didn't realize I would have to be in court 20 hours away from here to petition the court for guardianship and conservatorship I really thought the attorney was there to represent me. I've been such a mess with all this, my parents got really upset about the whole thing which is understandable. But I'm sick of it all there is nothing I seem to do that is right, his sisters which I don't really know who they are haven't send in 48 years one called the other day because she didn't think I was caring for them. Geezzzz I feel like I'm going nuts. So I'm going to give it to the attorney she can manage them and pay herself a nice little salary, I was doing it for nothing. I'm bitter and upset right now but I will get over it some day. Thanks for your comment. You forgot the people on Facebook that post mostly pictures of themselves unbelievable as if that doesn't scream LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME, like my ex, and all his old girl friends, it's like a circus LOL!
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How is your dad's pneumonia? Did you ever get to talk to the nursing staff about them? Do you have support with the decisions of their estate? Do you ever get to see them? As for spiritual, it's easy to feel that God has abandoned you. Sometimes it feels like you are in this giant hole of darkness, alone and frustrated. Take one tiny thing each day to accomplish, and feel proud that you did. No matter what it is. Know that REAL people love and care about you, and although Facebook is fun for some, I feel it's a vessel for people to brag about absolutely nothing or simply to post pictures of their oh-so-adorable kids eating spaghetti..or whatever. Hang in there.
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Hang in there Zoo, I appreciate what your saying and feeling, the good news is it will get better. I think facebook can be a self- advertisement spot, people post to look good for their next job. Savvy employers usually visit their applicants facebook to see what they are into. I agree fagettabout the facebook or use it as your own promotional tool. Hang in there.
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Margeaux, you're never too late, thanks for the input. It's a double edge sword for me with facebook, I have people I network with about job searches. However I've unfriended what's his name but to torture myself (I'm not sure why) I go to his page from time to time. He's a photographer by trade I've now been reduced to subject matter, being he doesn't give me a name if I'm in the pictures, and now is posting old girlfriends on his site, guess he's bitter. Anyway it's not good for me but it's like a drug. I get really anxious when I start to think about what's ahead of me that 20 hour drive back to Virginia. I really don't know if I have the emotional fortitude to complete what has to be done.

I just spoke to a friend who is much more organized than I am his dad just pasted he had to fly back to Ohio, then to Tennessee where he opened the storage unit to his life. He's got to clean it out all the old memories and bring it back he's having a lot of feelings about it all. I'm just rambling thanks for listening and for everyone's input. Shalom
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Facebook Advice: Never compare everyone else's Highlight Reel with your raw footage. Some people don't post everything they're going through or experiencing (thank goodness - not sure I want to know EVERYTHING). I know that I don't since I'm friends with colleagues, former coworkers, friends of different flavors, and family. Not everybody needs to know everything. Take what you see on Facebook with a grain of salt.
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Hi Zoolife,

Well, I'm probably chiming in very late on this discussion.
The only thing I can add, is FB, is sooooooo phony. I recently heard
on tv, how many people are turning away from it in droves, exactly for the reasons you've stated. I've never had an account. My husband does, so many times I do hear about what a grand tool it is, keeping up with people, contacting them, etc. Truth be told....I personally don't want to "keep up, nor contact in the manner FB makes this." So, try refrain as much as possible from following people. Besides, people do have a way of exaggerating about their lives, too.
Facebook, smacebook.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Positive affirmation written out & posted all around the house help me. It also helps my kids when dealing with their dads epilepsy. Keep the positive going.
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I get depressed when I look at facebook also. I even read an article about how FB is pretty artificial.
But, I do still have friends there that are living the life I once lived. In beautiful places with fun friends.
And I often have to put up with them trying to convince me that yes, I could fly to Florida for a visit or to California for some great event. This just isn't a part of my reality right now at all.
I feel so dull and introverted that I just stopped posting for a long time.
Then I found my kitten, and sometimes in the evening when I can snap a few photos of her being adorable, I post those, just to let the world know that they may have a life, but *I* have a kitten!
She must be the luckiest kitten in the world, oh how I dote on her.
Gawd, would it be stupid of me to tell you to get a kitten or a puppy? I don't know how I would have survived (the even worse) depression of the holidays without my Babbi.
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Thanks you guys for the support, Captain, Countrymouse Sharynmarie, Bermuda, Jinx4740, Carollyn. It helps hearing what you guys have to say. I couldn't talk like this on facebook without being judged, ridiculed, there are some old business associates so there is no way I could speak this openly. So glad you guys are here. If I could just go back on there for business contact or to speak with just a few people with out stalking the ex (ridiculous) I'd do it. Thanks again for your input guys, I'm so grateful to have found you all!
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Zoolife, on a practical note the NH may be getting a busy tone because they are calling the Wrong Number. Last week I looked at the cover sheet a care manager had with her and observed "you seem to have the code for my landline next to the rest of my cell phone number." She tinkled a little laugh and corrected it; but I thought er…?

Call 'em up and check. Pound to a penny - !
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