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I took a week off didn't call my folks it was so painful. They're still in the nursing home. The court date for Guardianship 1/27, of which they both have no idea is going to happen. I called them today dad said they have Pneumonia so I had to bother the nurses to find out what the heck is going. They said they've been trying to call me for days but get only a busy signal, everyone else gets through I don't know what they're doing on their end!
I hate that my folks are where they are miserable sick, their house hasn't been occupied in months. Mother said the sisters called to Killer Ant 2 to volunteer to go house sit REALLY I BET! I don't know what's the truth when I speak to them, all I know is I'm an emotional wreck afterwards. My dad did tell me he loved me, and I was able to pray with mother on the phone for their comfort!
I also decided to torture myself further hence " I HATE FACEBOOK" title summary I went back on facebook to see my X is having the time of his life and I just imploded from their. I HATE FACEBOOK!!!!!!! What I really can't stand is I' scared, alone, in need of comfort, jobless, damn it I'm depressed! I have a blood line that if I didn't know we were related I wouldn't speak to them after the first introduction. I've been comparing old classmates lives and successes to my upside down screwed up lousy life wondering what flyin fayhenie is next! Yes I'm whiny and miserable and if I didn't have to be around me I'd leave but I don't have a choice.
Sorry guys I just needed to vent I'm in need of a rescue, I'm so lost right now!!!!! I've got to believe God has something wonderful on the other side of this! I just can't see the other side, I'm dying to so many of my old bad behaviors, thought processes, belief systems about what's important and what's real!
DOES ANYONE know what I'm saying...... I feel so damaged I may never come back. Talking the job counselor gave me know hope at all for a future. I feel NUTS, TOTALLY NUTS RIGHT NOW! Where's the tuna can's the blue tights, my tiara and the magic bracelets cause I'm coming UNDONE!

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1brokenshoe, thanks for asking! My dad is well from pneumonia now. They are still in the nursing home. Monday and I feel very stupid I didn't realize I would have to be in court 20 hours away from here to petition the court for guardianship and conservatorship I really thought the attorney was there to represent me. I've been such a mess with all this, my parents got really upset about the whole thing which is understandable. But I'm sick of it all there is nothing I seem to do that is right, his sisters which I don't really know who they are haven't send in 48 years one called the other day because she didn't think I was caring for them. Geezzzz I feel like I'm going nuts. So I'm going to give it to the attorney she can manage them and pay herself a nice little salary, I was doing it for nothing. I'm bitter and upset right now but I will get over it some day. Thanks for your comment. You forgot the people on Facebook that post mostly pictures of themselves unbelievable as if that doesn't scream LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME, like my ex, and all his old girl friends, it's like a circus LOL!
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How is your dad's pneumonia? Did you ever get to talk to the nursing staff about them? Do you have support with the decisions of their estate? Do you ever get to see them? As for spiritual, it's easy to feel that God has abandoned you. Sometimes it feels like you are in this giant hole of darkness, alone and frustrated. Take one tiny thing each day to accomplish, and feel proud that you did. No matter what it is. Know that REAL people love and care about you, and although Facebook is fun for some, I feel it's a vessel for people to brag about absolutely nothing or simply to post pictures of their oh-so-adorable kids eating spaghetti..or whatever. Hang in there.
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Hang in there Zoo, I appreciate what your saying and feeling, the good news is it will get better. I think facebook can be a self- advertisement spot, people post to look good for their next job. Savvy employers usually visit their applicants facebook to see what they are into. I agree fagettabout the facebook or use it as your own promotional tool. Hang in there.
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Margeaux, you're never too late, thanks for the input. It's a double edge sword for me with facebook, I have people I network with about job searches. However I've unfriended what's his name but to torture myself (I'm not sure why) I go to his page from time to time. He's a photographer by trade I've now been reduced to subject matter, being he doesn't give me a name if I'm in the pictures, and now is posting old girlfriends on his site, guess he's bitter. Anyway it's not good for me but it's like a drug. I get really anxious when I start to think about what's ahead of me that 20 hour drive back to Virginia. I really don't know if I have the emotional fortitude to complete what has to be done.

I just spoke to a friend who is much more organized than I am his dad just pasted he had to fly back to Ohio, then to Tennessee where he opened the storage unit to his life. He's got to clean it out all the old memories and bring it back he's having a lot of feelings about it all. I'm just rambling thanks for listening and for everyone's input. Shalom
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Facebook Advice: Never compare everyone else's Highlight Reel with your raw footage. Some people don't post everything they're going through or experiencing (thank goodness - not sure I want to know EVERYTHING). I know that I don't since I'm friends with colleagues, former coworkers, friends of different flavors, and family. Not everybody needs to know everything. Take what you see on Facebook with a grain of salt.
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Hi Zoolife,

Well, I'm probably chiming in very late on this discussion.
The only thing I can add, is FB, is sooooooo phony. I recently heard
on tv, how many people are turning away from it in droves, exactly for the reasons you've stated. I've never had an account. My husband does, so many times I do hear about what a grand tool it is, keeping up with people, contacting them, etc. Truth be told....I personally don't want to "keep up, nor contact in the manner FB makes this." So, try refrain as much as possible from following people. Besides, people do have a way of exaggerating about their lives, too.
Facebook, smacebook.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Positive affirmation written out & posted all around the house help me. It also helps my kids when dealing with their dads epilepsy. Keep the positive going.
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I get depressed when I look at facebook also. I even read an article about how FB is pretty artificial.
But, I do still have friends there that are living the life I once lived. In beautiful places with fun friends.
And I often have to put up with them trying to convince me that yes, I could fly to Florida for a visit or to California for some great event. This just isn't a part of my reality right now at all.
I feel so dull and introverted that I just stopped posting for a long time.
Then I found my kitten, and sometimes in the evening when I can snap a few photos of her being adorable, I post those, just to let the world know that they may have a life, but *I* have a kitten!
She must be the luckiest kitten in the world, oh how I dote on her.
Gawd, would it be stupid of me to tell you to get a kitten or a puppy? I don't know how I would have survived (the even worse) depression of the holidays without my Babbi.
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Thanks you guys for the support, Captain, Countrymouse Sharynmarie, Bermuda, Jinx4740, Carollyn. It helps hearing what you guys have to say. I couldn't talk like this on facebook without being judged, ridiculed, there are some old business associates so there is no way I could speak this openly. So glad you guys are here. If I could just go back on there for business contact or to speak with just a few people with out stalking the ex (ridiculous) I'd do it. Thanks again for your input guys, I'm so grateful to have found you all!
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Zoolife, on a practical note the NH may be getting a busy tone because they are calling the Wrong Number. Last week I looked at the cover sheet a care manager had with her and observed "you seem to have the code for my landline next to the rest of my cell phone number." She tinkled a little laugh and corrected it; but I thought er…?

Call 'em up and check. Pound to a penny - !
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LOL!!!...Captain!!! Great input!!
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a camel hmmm, combined with factory air would have me dragging my dog house down the street.
after nearly 40 years i located a few army buddies. the one - upping liars were still that, the elitist ones were still that, etc. it only took a conversation with each to remember what i didnt like about them.
i havent been on facebook in years. dont care what my ex or my alleged sons are doing. and if you females are planning to reassert your power you already have half the money and all the vagina.
kidding kinda. i just read a book about hard times in appalacia a century ago and it was clear to me that the women were the backbone of the communities. the men ( and women ) worked like animals . i believe that life was too hard for an individual without a mate. itd be nice to see the two genders team up for their common benefit again but i think the colleges have gone overboard and are instructing women to soar free and climb the corporate ladder. i do not correlate money and happiness. if i had a million dollars i might splurge on a bucket of fresh paint for the 51 chevy but otherwise dont need a thing.
thats not entirely true, i do need a good woman in my life. one who likes cutting firewood, laying stone, canning tomatoes,and laid back enough to physically rest after a 3-4 day run of hard labor.
yea im ramblin, waiting for the ambien to kick in then im gonna go fire up the old bulldozer and sleepdrive to the beer store.
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Oh Zoo I've been there comparing with people on Facebook and just Google, wondering how my path went so far from theirs, and downhill at that! Still like everyone has already said, people don't post anything that makes them look less than sparkling on Facebook so comparing truly isn't fair to you. You know the old cliche don't compare others outsides to your insides. Still I hear ya....deactivate face book, hide your computer from yourself, get real, walk on the ground, pet a dog, breathe the air and let all that bs fall away.
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Zoolife~Put on your blue tights, tuna cans, bracelet shields and prepare for war!!!
1) Do not compare your life with other people because on Facebook, people present a happy stress free life. 99% of them are not posting their problems. I use to compare my life to other people my age...why do they have these big homes, how can they go on cruises, all these trips they take? The answer is that most who are in the same income bracket as me and hubby, are living outside their financial means and they have different priorities. They are not right and we are wrong...different priorities, different lifestyles. Deflect this with your bracelets now!! Pull up those blue tights (even if it creates a...you know camel..hmmm) and show the world what you are made of!!!

2)I agree with Jessie....unfriend your ex now!! If you have to deactivate your account with facebook for a few months do it. I have in-laws that have deactivated their accounts for a year...came back on and deleted several people off their friend list. They only kept people who they believed were like minded.
3) Again as Jessie stated...focus on what you need to do for yourself in finding a job. If you need support come here...not facebook. I only post funny reposts, spiritual posts or nature posts. Very seldom do I post what I am doing currently.
4)Do something everyday that is positive for you....be it a 20 minute walk...calling someone you can connect with and support for a 10 minute call....and practice detachment with love with family who is hassling you. Meditate on positive outcomes to situations and believe it will happen.
5)set those boundaries with people in your life, set boundaries on facebook, and believe in yourself. You are a good person, no one can take that away from you unless you let them!!

Most of all...try to find ways to relax, take some deep breaths, cook yourself a great dinner...who cares if it is only for you...you deserve it...take a bubble bath, play some relaxing music YOU enjoy, bake a cake for someone you know who would appreciate it...maybe a neighbor who is alone.

You count in this life too...don't forget that!!

Hugs to you dear friend!!
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Zoo -
Unfriend everyone who is not a friend. I am facebook friends with a few people I barely know because I love their political posts. Look for uplifting posts - religious or funny, or nature-related. There's one page called Dirty Old Boston with pictures sent in by viewers of gritty city scenes of the late 20th century. There's another called Amazing Things that has outrageously incredible photos.

In other words, stop torturing yourself. You don't deserve torture.

Don't feel dumb for rubbing your own nose in it. We all do it sometimes.

As an atheist Christian Buddhist, I look at my life and say it is good. I have brought the souls of my husband and daughter together. I treat them with love. I do my best to be loving to him - in spite of what he says. I would love to travel. Ain't gonna happen. My life is still good.

Your life is good. You have persevered through extremely difficult times. You have done the right thing against constant opposition. You will probably not "win" if you define winning as "dying with the most toys." You will win if you define that as doing your duty and trying to reduce human suffering. Extra points for loving friends and finding joy in small things.
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Dear zoo-ie,

Oh, honey, don't try to FIND the dream. HAVE your own dream. Make it a REALITY!Just because you CAN (and I don't mean tuna...hahahahaha).
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Eye of the tiger, girl!
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You guys are the best thanks for all your comments what a lift! Captain you crack me up! PS the tuna cans all 3 strategically placed the tiara, and magic power bracelets, All Emjo the outfit that we are wearing in 2014 to take back our power year, Queenism, just some fun to for laughs. Carolyn I'm going to try the visualization, just need to find a dream! Jessiebelle, Vstefans, Overwhelmedsigh, Minutewomen Inc, you guys are priceless. This Phoenix will rise once again from the ashes medication will help till then! Big Hugs to all!
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Comparing your life to those on facebook is a 100% guaranteed way to feel bad, especially if you are having a tough time.

All you are doing is comparing a "greatest hits" to your every day life. What I mean is, generally people do not post on FB or social media, bad things. No one talks about the job loss, debt, divorces, and the general low points everyone has in life on the social media. So what you are left with is a lot of friends posting only great things, new job, new car, new gf/bf etc. So looking at it makes a person feel as if their life is not as good as all their friends.

Take it all with a grain of salt. Maybe start posting the good things that happen during you day to FB to show the world, and yourself that there are good things happening in your life to celebrate.
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Zoo-ie, everything is going to be so much easier when you get the conservatorship. Your folks are really in a state where they need help and they need YOU!

When you are no longer swimming against the tide to get the proper care that your parents deserve, everything will become easier in your personal life as well.

Practice Law of Attraction. What do you want and focus on dat and draw it to you. Look briefly at where you are, think concretely about where you want to be and the method to get there will manifest in your life.

Desire and belief are the key. You will only have what you want if you believe you can have it!
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im not sure you understand how facepunch works so here ; my weekend was so awesome. my bff stopped in ( the obnoxious renter girl from upstairs) and we had the greatest time ( listening to her sitting on my couch, smoking weed and hacking her guts up ) today i cross country skied down the best mountain ( walked to the bottom of my drive and fell on my ass in the slush 3 f-in times ) then came back to the lodge and had a 5 star dinner ( i made a pancake) ill submit the photos later after ive sorted out the erotic ones ( took a selfie sitting on the sh*****) .
so there you go zoolife. when i went to grade school we were taught to read between the lines to determine what was really being implied.
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Zoo life, please don't undervalue yourself and what you are in the process of doing for your parents. Dad is probably misdialing as it gets harder for him to accurately carry out sequences and problem solve. Dad probably won't give accurate information, do make sure the staff calls you with the things you want them to. If it makes no sense, that's probably because it makes no sense! Guardianship is a big, intimidating process, and can be expected to take up a lot of time and energy...even if you have all you ducks in a row for it, and even if it were not for all the desperate emotions it engenders to boot. Breathe, and tell yourself it's gonna be OK...you are doing you best to do the right things here. We're pulling for you and we hope to hear how it all works out!!
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JessieBelle is right on....work on yourself. As for Facebook and your Ex...remember people only post the good stuff, I am sure he still has bad days and problems.
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We understand tuna cans :D I'm sure emjo will be around in a little while.

First off, the practicalities. Unfriend your ex if you haven't already and don't be tempted to put his name in the search. Curiosity will just make you feel worse, and you don't need that right now. After a while your anger at you ex will fade and he will be nothing to you.

Next figure out how you're going to find that new job. I have a feeling that getting a job will be the biggest boost to your self esteem. Good self esteem is the best armor in this world. Write a killer resume and brush up on some needed job skill. Practice the standard interview questions so you can wow them.

A month from now things will probably look more orderly. Something I do when I'm going through a bad time is to tell myself that this, too, shall pass. Sometimes we just have to see how we want things to be, then work to make them that way.

Now if I follow my own advice... Easier to tell others than it is to do it myself. But we are getting there.
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I understand. You are completely overwhelmed. It's a horrible way to feel.
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Tuna Cans? I don't understand what tuna cans are for.
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