I feel like my Mother's jailer.
My mother and I could not be more Unalike. I am outgoing and make friends easily. She stays home in her little cocoon and will never pick up the phone. That is our background and past.
Now, she at 91 and me at 66 and newly widowed (hate that word) live together. She moved in before my husband passed. She has been here 2 years.
When she lived on her own, I would visit weekly and take her to lunch and/or shopping, having tea and go home. I always felt we were like friends.
Now, she lives in a 600 sf guest suite in my home. I try to get her to go out with others, but she will only go if THEY invite her. I have given up...I tell her she is old enough to know what she wants and do what she wants, even if it is watching TV and staring out the window all day.
She just set me off again on a tangent (by myself-not in front of her or she would freak out). She is asking me one item at a time for gift wrapping. I finally said that it is all on the kitchen island and she can choose what she needs. I then said I would be gone most of tomorrow. She said "oh, good. Then I will go in the kitchen and do my wrapping." I asked why she couldn't get her items now. "Oh, I will be in the way." She always makes me feel that I am some sort of mean nasty daughter who is keeping her jailed up! I take that back...I make me feel that way...like a daughter guilt that I am not doing enough.
I know that I am ranting, but I am so tired of being the responsible one...and have never had time alone in my own home since my husband passed last year.
She just won't go anywhere! I have to leave my home to be alone...
No, I am not an only child. I have a brother who lives out of state and visits her once or twice a year (In my home).
Please tell me that I am not a bad person. Please tell me that there are others out there feeling the same way.