I feel like my elderly parents are abusing me.
I am the only child to two elderly parents who had me late in life. My mother never got over the death of my sister almost 8 years ago from pancreatic cancer. My mom started drinking, cashed in all of their retirement savings and gambled it all away. Credits cards were racked up and my dad let it all happen while he lived in his false sense of paradise. My mom is almost 81 and has been found drunk and hurt at least 10 - 15 times in the last 7 years - all requiring hospital ER stays. Each time I had to drop what I was doing to go to her aid. I stopped doing it the last two times. I have taken my mom to AA, set up geriatric counselling, addiction counselling, tried to get her help at the hospital. etc. Evenutally my family moved to a small community and I built a nice basement apartment for them to live with me. My mom called it a dungeon. I had to get her help with bathinig and additional counselling. Nothing has helped. She was not taking her medication properly and her siblings and other family/friends has washed their hands of her many years ago becaue of her horrible personality. My last hope was placing her in a home for a 90 day evaluation to determine if she has dementia and get her on her meds properly. My dad has provided no support or help during these years, always letting the decisions be made by me. Now my father, who is still living with me, is verbally assulting me...calling me an f-ing idiot, telling me to go upstairs to cry (I have been doing a lot of that lately,) that placing my mom in the home was unecessary punishment and cruel...etc.
I have two young children, am the only one in my house that works a high stress job and I fell like I am on my last rope. The stress has now physically started to impact me.
And the worst thing, my parents have no money but minimal pensions because my mom killed their finances.
I resigned as power of attorney for my mom and now my dad had to deal with everything. THis has led him to verbally attack me calling horrible names.
I want my dad out of my house. How do I get him and and how do I start healing with my family? After 8 years of this...I can't take any more. My mom refuses to admit she has any responsibility in the state of reality today. She threatens suicide to me but no one else. So I have not seen her in over 2 weeks.
Any advise and help would be so greatly appreciated.