I hate that I don't like my Father anymore...at all.
My father was diagnosed with dementia about a year ago, although the symptoms and signs were there easily 3 years before diagnosis.
My father has always been strong, stubborn, blunt, prideful man which made some relationships challenging, but at the same time he has always been sweet, giving and loving. He has always shown his love for me and having lost my mom when I was 14 he and I only had each other and were close and as I became an adult - buddies. He was my best friend.
Now, he is this mean, hateful, still stubborn 85 year old man whose life is miserable. He has all but lost his hearing, has CHF, parathyroid disease and now dementia. He accuses me, my husband, my son of plotting against from stealing money out of his wallet, breaking pipes to allow leaking in the bathroom (we have a plumbing issue) to tampering with his Ensure. And thats the short version. He accused us of hiding potatoes he intends to cook and throwing out his Pepsi's, stealing his gun, etc.
I really really REALLY dislike the person he's become. I don't want to be around him, don't want to talk to him because when I am/do I end up so mad or so hurt by whatever he has said. But at the same time I miss him...my oh my how I miss him. :(
I keep trying to be hopeful, but I keep reading it gets worse. I honestly don't know how much more I or my own family in general can take. I just want him to be my daddy...my buddy again. Is there any hope? Any at all?