I did not agree with the doctor, I know my mum best.

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my mum went into respite last week but after 2 days another fall occurred which resulted with her being taken into hospital, the same happened in respite before 7 weeks ago, not including the ones that have happened at home.2 weeks ago. thankfully no broken bones, her leg was swollen& you could tell she was in pain, her blood pressure was very high so she was kept in for observation. the following day was transferred to a hospital for the elderly. her leg was sore to stand so she was given a zimmer frame instead of her walking stick &was escorted to & back from the toilet. however the following night when I visited she didn't know me. my sister had been in and said she was confused, she has dementia and is allways a little confused but got a shock when she told the nurse she had never seen me before. I asked for a UTI to be carried out as that is when she becomes very confused, however it came back there was no infection. night after night she is becoming more confused, I was told she could be confused with her being moved about, she would settle in a few days, this never happened, she got worst, hallucinating, been shopping, staying in this hotel,not knowing it was a hospital. again I asked why was this happening? she was not like this before she went there, I was then told it could be the painkillers she was on for her leg, I told them that was rubbish as she takes the same medication at home. last night she saw buses and a dog, they had a bar down the corridor and a lot of men were working. again hallucinating. I asked the nurse to tell the doctor to contact me in the morning as I had concerns about my mum, and of course I was angry, 3 excuses had been made from nurses, but no-one could answer me as to what the problem with her was..my sister & nephew visited today, the walking frame had been taken away in it"s place was her walking stick. my sister tried her out walking with this but my mum almost fell again, she called me to say they were letting my mum home tomorrow, despite being a falls risk and still as confused. I phoned her social worker immediately and asked who should I hold responsible should my mother fall when she gets home? I voiced my concerns I told her to visit my mum, she would see the difference in her, she phoned the hospital knowing my mum lives alone, she explained our concerns as my sister was angry too.although we are there daily its not possible to be there 24 hours. (SADLY). I received a phone call back saying they were now keeping her in for a few days up to a week. if we feel her walking has improved and she is not as confused then she will get home, if there is no improvement a care home is the only answer..i can only pray she will improve. we had to put my late father in a care home, to do it again will break our hearts. my mum is 84yrs for a hospital to even think of sending her home tomorrow, is well and truly beyond me, they say as you get old you are just a number in a hospital, that was proved to me today.you know youre mum better than any doctor, if you feel concerns voice them and take further action, if my mum had got out tomorrow and something happened to her, there is no saying as to what I would do. a doctor may have many patients, but you only have 1 mother. I hope this will help someone who feels there mum is not fit enough to be discharged from a hospital.


You are right, do NOT take her home. They cannot force you to take home an Alzheimer's patient. You TELL them to make other arrangements for her that will be safe. Hold your ground!
Absolutely agree. Hospitals only want to stabilize the elder and discharge as fast as they can -- so nothing worse happens on their watch. It's awful, but the truth. They will constantly call you and harass you to come and get your elder.

In my bad experience, don't do it!! Don't accept the discharge. Let them figure out what to do with the elder and make arrangements. They can order in home assistance, placement, PT, visiting nurse --any number of services if they want; but once you accept discharge and take custody of the elder --god help you getting any help or additional services.

Worse, if she is that frail, unsteady, cognitive impaired --she will have great difficulty managing at home and likely will fall or get injured again.
I first learned from this site, two years ago, that we did not have to "accept delivery" of mom from the hospital if WE did not think she was capable of returning home on her own. This stopped the revolving door of ems/hospital/stabilize/home that had gone in for months. We said, nope, not taking her home till you figure out what's wrong. Mom whimpered that they would think she was a difficult patient; I told her no, you are going to be known as the patient with the savvy kids.
Last week my Dad [92] was in the ER because he fell hard in his driveway. Dad was in the hospital less than 24 hours but he thought he was in a hotel for 3 days.... same thoughts even after he came home. The next day he was fine, his thinking was so much clearer... now he laughs about thinking he was in a hotel, must have been a side effect of the meds. His fall was due in part from a too strong pain meds.... same thing had happened a month earlier with my significant other, was on pain pills, fell, passed out, was taken to the ER.

I noticed this same pattern of confusion the other times Dad was in the hospital for one thing or another. I believe one can get confused by all the different sights and sounds within a hospital... you fall asleep during the day and think it's the next day instead of the same day... all the different staff/doctors/nurses coming in and out, and those faces change with the next shift.

Dad is back at his home with Mom and having physical therapy to help with his balance.... now he is finally using a walker instead of his cane....
Is there some reason why her regular doctor, such as an orthopedic doctor, isn't recommending and scripting for rehab for the falls? And if not that, what about home PT? That would at least address that issue to help stabilize her balance.

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