I am asking all of you wonderful caregivers your opinion of my situation. I am caring for my Mom who is 88 and mostly healthy and I am in

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counseling because of the stress and anxiety I am feeling in her aging. I have only seen this counselor 3 times but feel worse when I leave her. She understands my feelings of pain at the thought of losing my Mom one day but she has not helped me to deal or cope with my feelings.How much time should I give someone and when should I start to feel better. I appreciate your replies. Thank you


You are very wise and brave to reach out and ask us.
Sometimes examining things too intensely can make matters worse. That is why therapists are licensed, and a personal choice - if this one is not helping you cope, or otherwise giving you some method of finding relief you you need to be honest with her and look for referrals. Any good therapist will make some recommendations if the patient asks.

Anxiety is a killer, and sometimes it takes more than therapy to break the cycle you are in. There is no shame in asking your md for a referral to a psychiatrist for evaluation of whether meds may help you. If you are in pain it is difficult to enter into any type of constructive treatment and behavior work without calming the anxiety. Anxiety and depression can erode your health and make you miss the good things that are still out there in each day.

I have read posts from people on this board who sound so wound up or upset - I think that your post will be read and appreciated by many who are also looking for help in managing their emotions and health. There should never be a stigma to asking for help - even lack of sleep over time can throw a person into depression, or anxiety; and being a caregiver and never knowing what to expect -of course you are feeling that way. You are strong and know how to reach out, I hope you do find a solution and share it with all of us.
Thank you. I have been on antidepressent medication for over a year and do not feel better. I am also taking an anxiety medication which does not help much either. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in 3 weeks and maybe some new medication or the right medication will help. I do appreciate your reply as I feel alone in my emotions and to know that others feel the same way is a blessing.
I can tell you that there is no test to tell which medication will work; when you see the psychiatrist make certain to bring a list of any meds you have taken that either didnt work, or had limited effect. You should also ask him to educate you on anxiete and depression - if you understand the chemical imbalances of these conditions you will be a more educated patient, and not beat yourself up for feeling things so acutely. It may take some time, but you sound determined to help yourself so most of the battle is won already. You didn't say what you had tried - do you know if it was an SSRI or ???? The diets are different depending on what you take.

You might do some online reading about diet, and sleep 's connection to anxiety & depression. Easier said than done, but hang in there you are going to make it.
You are so brave for doing this! You don't have to be completely on your own though. You could hire part time live-in care and help lessen the load on your shoulders, especially since you are on anxiety medication.

No matter what you decide though, know that this forum is a great tool to vent and share your feelings with people who are going through similar things as you.

I wish you the best,
I found that if I was at the right counsuler I always felt better when I left on one occasion I was mad as hell wirh her until I thoight over what she had said she had said I was waiting for someone to rescue me because no one seemed to see how caring for my husband was affecting my mental health and I needed to rescue myself and that gave me courrage to tell the social workers at the nursing home I was not able to care for him and I could not believe the support I suddenly got-where were these people the two years I was in so much pain and he was going to be placed and I even got help with the medicare application-he did die soon after this but I learned to take care of me for a change which I now do and have no guilt-you need to be your own friend and if one therapist can not help try another for your sanity-good luck

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