I am a long distance POA for my 89-year-old Mom. My brother called and suspects our other brother of emotional abuse toward our Mom
Our Mom has been acting strange and very quiet. I am in the midst of a family problem, selfish siblings really, as I dismantle our Mom's home and sell it to my brother A. Mom's in a nursing home and won't be returning to her own home and has been in favor of the sale. Brother B and sister have taken their share of things and then some and still complain that they haven't gotten their share. Brother A is paying over fair market value for the home and only had the opportunity to purchase after all other siblings said no to purchasing it. Now, a selfishness has developed into anger overnight toward me and brother A. Brother A suspects brother B and sister of complaining to our mother who suffers from Dementia. Brother B is a grump who is basically angry at the world and barks at anyone around him. He has gotten so nasty that I can't stand the stress of even talking to him myself. Brother A is concerned that our Mom is being subjected to the same. What to do? It could be the nature of Dementia changing her behavior, or maybe during visits they are giving her an earful that has her upset. How should I handle this. I go back to our hometown every other week and will spend 4 days there this weekend, so I will see what I think, but what can I do? Any advice would be helpful.
By the way, Brother B is in denial of his treatment of others and previous talks have been a waste of my time with him.
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"Me" I have stayed out of the fray of possessions, since my memories of my mother are MY most precious possessions.
As far as what to do, make sure that PEACE is available to your mother in the nursing home, stressing that to brother B and sister too. God Bless you.
With Alzheimers' there is no telling what is really going on, as your mother's 'take' on it may not be what is actually happening. (Trust me, I know.. my mother had Alzheimer's).
Try to get an understanding of what is truly going on from the staff, and see if there is any issue that has to handled using either their staff or an omsbudsman. Perhaps a family CARE PLAN Meeting would be in order, so all know what is going on.