I Wish I Had Read This First
It's official. I made a HUGE mistake by moving dad to an ALF near me. It's a very nice place with nice people, but they just can't accommodate Dad's needs, and I'm sick of the nickel-and-diming. They currently charge $975 per month on top of the monthly fee for "specialized care" because Dad is on oxygen... A room portable contentrator that stays on all the time that Dad can put in his nose on his own and a smaller shoulder unit that simply needs to be plugged in. They hardly ever do those two things.
I've also learned that Dad needs assistance with bathing now, so twice a week I am going to the ALF to bathe him (or I would have to pay an additional $475 per month), and since I THANKFULLY only live 5 minutes away from the ALF, I swing by to plug in his small shoulder unit and put the cannula to his room unit in his nose. Dad isn't purposely taking it out. He just can't comprehend that the unit being on isn't providing oxygen.
Despite talking to the DON, director of the facility, and other staff members, the only thing that has been done is placing a sign-off sheet in his room for each shift to initial that they have plugged in the oxygen. It's been empty for two days.
This just isn't worth the money I'm paying. So, in my frustration, I found this article.
It's sobering and makes me angry. I fell for the banana in the tailpipe. My lease is up in August, and I think I'm going to move Dad in with me and send him to Adult Day Care (a different, smaller facility) during the day and split caregiving with a trusted, paid professional (a church member who knows Dad well is looking for about 30 hours a week). Since I'm doing mostly everything anyway and I have no life as is, this would be a much cheaper level of stress.
I know a NH would be a good option, but I haven't found any within my budget that I would feel comfortable placing Dad in. I just don't trust anyone else to handle his care properly (codependent I know).