How to handle fathers dementi

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I'm 23 yrs. old, father 70 yrs. old has dementia and I feel unprepared. He had some bad hallucinations and now he starts towards the stage where he begins thinking you plot against him. Mix all this with drinking issues...sigh. I have some anxiety issues myself and starting to get paranoid about him, keep wondering what's going through his head, what he could be capable of...Weird thing is that he isn't yet at the stage where he can't remember dates or can't tell time, well not all the way there anyways. Since I'm here on this site might as well whine a bit. I feel cheated, I shouldn't go through this at my age, you see, my parents had me pretty late. Also sometimes when I see him drunk I feel like I want to grab him by his head, shake him very hard and ask him what the f**k is wrong with you!! I know, I know, it's the disease, but part of it it's also him as who he was. I'll have to get me some help, a shrink, before I dive in myself in this mess. I'll keep reading on this site for experiences, advice. For what it's worth it feels good to dump some of the load. With friends or relatives it seems to me that it's kind of overwhelming for them to deal with such issues.

4 Comments

Primavara, are you living with him?

How much have you read about various types of dementia? They don't all proceed in the same order of symptoms.

In fact, it's possible your dad has a uti or other infection causing his symptoms. Do you go to doctor appointments with him?


I'm sorry that you're dealing with this at such a young age!
Remember, your health and life come first, not your Dads. Do not let him, his drinking, dementia and care consume your life. He had a life. Now it's your turn.
A very wise man from a different site always said, "Alzheimer's has claimed one life.... Don't let it claim two." You have to live your life. I am the mom of 5 adults in their 20s and I would not want them strapped with caring for me....be sure your dad is in a safe place, check on him, love him, but live your life! He lived his.
My opinion is that your late teens thru your 20's should be the most carefree, fun, no responsibility time of your life. Then when you hit your 30's you've gained some life experience and are better prepared to settle down and take on the responsibilities of a home and family. Primavera - you'll never get this time in your life back - it is priceless. You can ensure your father is receiving proper care without having to provide it, hands on yourself. And it does not make you a bad person or a bad daughter. Please look into alternatives for your fathers care.

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