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My sister in law is Power of Attorney for her mother. Her mother now wished she had made my husband (her son) the POA, but she has now been diagnosed with dementia. My sister in law lives out of state and wants to go back home leaving us with the care of her mother. It will be hard to handle things with her still as POA. Are there any legal actions that we can take to get the POA.

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If i were in your position I would tell my sister-in-law that you and your husband would love to take care of mother but only if given POA, if not then you'll have to take her with you to your new home. Don't waver if she really wants this she'll come around.
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Newprod3,

I agree with S. If your sister wants to leave the state and go to another, then she'll either: a) have to give up POA or b) take her mom with her. It's a headache if she doesn't give up POA and she's in another state. She's not doing your mom any favors by keeping the title of POA. Do NOT, by any means, waiver (sp?) on your end.
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the above is genius advice. take it and let us know what your sil decided!
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We ran into a snag with this when the sister who had POA for Mom turned out to be interested in Mom's money mostly, and helped her self. But she still had POA...we just didn't think early enough to have Mom transfer it to me,her 24/7 caregiver.

Then... Mom is officially diagnosed with dementia, so cannot herself assign a new POA, me. Sister did willingly sign over POA, but by then the county sued for conservatorship...and when they do that they want both financial and health. So, see two snags, sister not willing to give up POA...and mother not competent to sign her own assignment of POA. Mom's wellbeing was in limbo for several weeks. Not good.
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i take care of my father and my brother is poa , lives a thousand miles away . i have no problem with him begin a poa . he takes care of legal matters and pays dad s bills . when i get a dr bill i just mail it to my brother and let him take care of it . when dad needs money my brother will write dad a check and mail it to us .
alot of people says i should be poa since dad is with me . well i dont think i could handle the stress dealin with legal matters and dad s bills plus takin care of him .
dad has his credit card if he wants to shop or i need to pay for his meds . dad always said let that baby boy pay for it .
its stress free !!! i am glad my brother is a poa ...
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In a perfect world your sister would say "since you're devoting the time and energy, and I will be out of state, would you like me to relinquish POA to you?".
Although, I do like with S's advice, there are some questions you need to ask yourself
Where will you mother be happiest and get the best care?
Are you willing to accept responsibility for all of your mother's needs?
Will you be happy with your mother out-of-state?

There can be a split POA one for finances and one for health. If your mother's estate affords her care, then maybe having your sister take care of her finances would be one less burden if you decide to have her remain with you.
You must think about what's best for your well-being along with your mother's best chance to live out her life with dignity.
Take some time to decide how to proceed. Once again, I do like S's suggestion, but sometimes an ultimatum is not the best place to start a discussion
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My sister and I have joint POA, which works out perfectly. So if your sister isn't willing to sign over her POA, you might compromise with joint POA.
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I have poa over a family member and wish I never accepted this responsibility! Prior to me having the POA money was spent and credit cards were maxed out. My family member was taken advantage of and now I am left to deal with the mess. She has dementia and I started the process for her to be in a nursing home only to find out about all the money transactions. She had to come home and the other side of the family decided to move in and take care of her. She is now at a care place where she is happy and the family member ran up a huge bill at her house, so I am back to square one. If I give up my poa, who will make medical decisions for her when needed? It is a nightmare, my thinking is hold them accountable for all the money they have taken, it is not small amounts, but my husband refuses to do that to a family member. Every solution I come up with, I hit a brick wall because he doesn't want to make waves! I am ready to scream and wish I would have listened to my Mom and never taken on this role.
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I could be wrong, but I don't believe the present POA can simply turn the responsibility to whomever she chooses. If her brother is listed as the secondary or backup, then her stepping down gives him the responsibility, but if it isn't written that way then it does Brother no good for Sister to bow out.

Mother can change the POA with or without Sister's consent. A diagnosis of dementia does not automatically mean the person is not competent to make legal decisions. Does Mother have lucid periods? Can she comprehend the topic of POA? If so, the simplest thing might be to contact the attorney who drew up the document, or another attorney of your choice and have mother make her wishes known.

As others have said, it is not necessarily the case that it is always best for the on-site caregiver to have POA, but if you think it is in this case, talk to a lawyer.
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my dad just got married a few months ago , he is 92 his new wife is 83. is she responsible for his assets now .I have power of attorney, & a will he made before he was married. Do I have any rights now?I am the only child of his .
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My mom is about to give power of attorney to her book keeper instead of two living children. My aunt is current POA but she is older than my mom and feels it would be better to step down. All of the influences in my moms life are telling her to go to the bookkeeper. My mother says she trusts my sister and I but we do not live in the same state as her. But, we have proven that if someone needs us, we are there within a day. Is this a crazy situation, or what.
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Jason v, Do you trust the book keeper? Is he/she going to do the right thing for your mother? I would be a bit concerned unless the book keeper is a wonderful person who your mother trusts more than anyone else. Does she have any reason to distrust her children. My mother gave POA to my brother but appointed no one as an alternate. I was left off for no good reason whatsoever. My only recourse, should I need to care for her and she is incompetent to appoint me POA ,is to seek guardianship.

If this happens to you, it is expensive and time consuming. I would at least have her put you and your sister on the POA as alternates. It could save you alot of time, money and trouble.

And yes, this is as crazy a situation as I am in. Welcome to elder care.
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My mom has no reason not to trust us. Her biggest influences are her sisters who are extremely manipulative. The oldest sister is stepping down and is a complete control freak. My mother listens to her older sister without question, and I am sure the bookkeeper was her idea. The thing is, I am her son forever, the bookkeeper is their temporarily.
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My Mother has dementia and other illnesses that has her completly bed-ridden and needsw 24/7 care. I moved her into my house after court appointed a lawyer to be her P.O.A. of the estate and health. Reason, sibblings were fighting. I live in New Jersey, Mom lived out of state when P.O.A. was made from Philadelphia judge to a Philadelphia lawyer. The guardianship sucks, when I need something I have to remind him several times, including questions that never get answered. I have Doctors and nurses that come to the house on a regular basis and praise us for the work and care we provide for her. I feel that since Mom lives in new jersey wouldnt it be a better idea to have her P.O.A. in N.J. rather then Philadelphia that is out of state, anyone with good info please give me some advice, God Bless ALL.
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My dad has left a lot of money to his home help in his will and we think she may of manipulated him to do this just before he was diagnosed with dementia. What can we as a family do about this, as the home help didn't even do her job properly and basically got paid to sit and have cups of teas with him.
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She certainly does not deserve the amount of money he has left her, she has only been his paid help for about 3 years doing 6 hours a week. It makes us very angry that this can happen, shouldn't the care company she works for have some rules about this, it seems old people are just left to be taken for granted by these people
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I don't want to be POA for my brother anymore. What can I do?
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Tell your brother to give it to someone else.
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I agree with Linda 09 comments. I am poa for my mum which means I handle her investments, pay bills, insurance issues, taxes ..I do all this long distance...no problem. My sis is her local caregiver and she has the hardest job. I do whatever I can..make phone calls, doc appts etc. Being poa would just mean more work for her. I keep very detailed records of mums money and everything is open and for mums benefit. I reimburse sis for exp and pay her a monthly caregiver allowance.....works well.
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My mother passed a few months ago. I have been living with her and my step father who has a daughter he has not seen in 36 years. Well she came to moms funeral and began riding him to lunch once a week. He has dementia and some how got him to do a poa and changed his life insurance bene. and put her name on moms car. Within a few months he had brain surgery for a broken hip. Also, he fell and broke his hip. So, now she moved him out of the house and is removing things out of the house. And is extorting money from the caregivers. Is there anything we can do to help him stay home? And how do we recover his belongings?
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My mother has developed dementia.
My father has been emotionally abusive for length of their marriage. Also mentally unstable to care for her, he has a violent temper, we fear for her safety as well as emotional state.
She wants to live with my family where she is safe, healthy and happy.
How do we as her children deem her incompetent and my father unfit, so he doesn't have POW by marriage.
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Your mother is allowed to name a Power of Attorney of her choosing, as long as she is not incompetent. That is, she must be able to understand the concept of appointing someone else to act on her behalf. She could name you. If that is what she wants to do, take her to an attorney specializing in Elder Law and have the document drawn up. (Your could do this without a lawyer, but under the circumstances I don't think that is a good idea.) Explain to the attorney that she wants to live with you and get advice about how to make that happen as smoothly as possible.

If Dad has been abusive the entire marriage, why is it just coming to a head now?
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I have POA over my brother for Medical and Financial and I will remain as such. He needs 24/7 care and will be moving in with my niece who has agreed to care for him. What I need is to allow her POA over the medical so she can make and receive medical information on his behalf. I do not want any delays in his care because "she's not authorized". My brother is mentally incapacitated due to a serious accident. Can I complete a new POA keeping everything the same, except to add her for the medical decisions? If not, can I complete a limited POA for her with my signature only? Need assistance. Attorney that wrote it does not know???
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To justjan2008, you may want to post your question as a new question. You have posted it as a comment to someone else's question from 2010.
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To answer your question, YOU cannot change the POA, only your brother can, and only if he is still mentally competent. And as theresa2 says, tacking a new question on to someone else's post is not only bad manners, it probably won't get you the responses you want.
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C Willie is correct, only the "Principal" can change their poa. First they have to revoke the former poa document, and at the very same time they should assign a new poa. The Revocation gets mailed to former poa as notice that the old poa is no longer in effect. The former poa is supposed to sign off they received it. But whether they sign it or not, the new poa is in effect as soon as signed and notarized. The new poa should have an original copy of the poa document, kept in a safe place (like a fire proof safe ). Nobody else can change a poa, besides the "Principal ". If they are incapacitated, then a guardianship claim needs to be filed in court. This will cost thousands of dollars. Good luck.
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To justjan2008. The POA gives you
the authority to transact any business for your brother so maybe it is possible to designate a temporary alternate poa. It might be possible for you to sign a statement authorizing your niece to sign for you on behalf of your brother during a certain period of time...i.e. 1 yr. I don't know. Maybe not.. ..just an idea. Talk to an attorney about your options.
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No. The current poa cannot name a new poa. Only the Principal can name someone else to act in their behalf. The Principal cannot even have their original poa document give named poa the right to name successor poa....that is illegal everywhere. If a new poa is needed, the Principal must name it. If Principal cannot, then no poa can be named; the Guardian will have to be put in place by a Judge.
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My husband and I are living with my mother who has been deemed a 24/7 need of care. We moved in temporarily because we lost our home but found out shortly after she was not well and a danger to herself. Our short term is now 5 years and no solution in sight. I just found out that I have a poa for her which she signed 18 years ago drawn up by an attorney with her will. I totally forgot about the poa until I was going through private papers and found it. She made it out because of my brother. I'm her daughter and had to do a 10 year legal battle when my dad died to receive my inheritance. The problem is that my brother is putting bad ideas into her heard that she is believing because of her condition. If I move out she will have to be placed into a home. my question is, can she legally have me moved out since I am her poa? She cannot sign any legal documents anymore. If she can have me moved out will I be getting some kind of notice or can it be immediate?
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Legaleagle1, your situation should be reviewed by an attorney, and I do hope.you are in possession of the original POA, with an original notary stamp & signature. If your mom has been deemed incompetent by a doctor, then she needs her assets to provide for her care. She probably needs nursing home or memory care in a facility (these services provided at her home 24/7 will cost a lot more than if provided in facility). You need an experienced Elder Care lawyer, who has experience with financial planning. She may need to sell her home (you would have to do this on her behalf) in order to qualify for Medicaid. In some very rare instances, the senior's home does not need to be sold if there are children still living in the home -- to answer this question is not something anyone here on AgingCare.com can do.....you will have to spend money (mom's) on a lawyer to see if your state's Medicaid has an allowance for this. But even if you do, by some miracle, get to stay in mom's house, keep in mind that you will.have to pay any mortgage, insurance, property taxes, utilities, repairs, and association fees. ...as mom's Soc Sec and pensions will all go towards her care, not to keeping her home. This is why I emphasize, do not expect to get to stay in mom's house....prepare to get it ready for sale, with all.proceeds going towards mom's care, which is exactly as it should be
Everyone needs to work and make a living, so get mom into a facility, which should free you up so that you can look for work. Read here on Aging care about how being a caregiver is extremely deleterious towards your own financial stability. You don't need a place to stay-- you need a job, and health ins, pension, and a financial future so you can provide for your own needs. Do it, and feel proud that you have taken care of yourself, and your mom would be so proud of you too.
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