Help I am new at this

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Hi,
Just moved in with my parents 2 months ago. They refused to move and according to them they are just fine.
Since I have arrived I can tell you they are not. Since I have been here I have just got a job in town, which is 15 miles. I have driven my Dad to the store, cleaned house, and helped with the meals. I have tried to bring up the subject of POA and they are very resistant to talk about it. I do not know about their money. I know they only live on social security. They have no savings, their house payment is very low and they feed all the stray cats in the valley. I feel depressed already, miss my boys but know there is no way I can leave them. They live in a very small town and some people have commented that they are glad I am here. I was going to move to town but I really think I need to be here on a daily basis. I need my own space badly. I am living in a bedroom and I am going crazy. Want to buy 5th wheel but do not know if you can live in one where it snows.
Any words of wisdom?
Thanks, Pam

2 Comments

Pam, Welcome! I have been new to this website for about two weeks and it has helped a lot. Everyone knows what you are going through and we are all here for you. The first thing I would like to say is your feelings are real and I understand. Tap into all the resources that you can. State and federal agencies. Check out (IHSS) In Home Supportive Services. Take care of your self because if you don't it will catch up with you in every way. You don't want to get burned out. The RV sounds like a good idea. It does'nt matter how small your place is as long as you have peace. Home is what you make of it. Atleast you would have a place to go to. Hang in there and I will keep you in my prayers.
Pam,
RVs are a lot of responsibility and the resale is bad. If you really want to get one, you might consider an older model under $5000.
Can you live in one in winter?
You cannot have running water at temperatures below 32. It is difficult but not impossible to manage the waterless condition, but the cost to heat is out of sight. They have no insulation and heat pours out of them. You must check local zoning laws BEFORE you buy, and you can be guaranteed you will not be able to dump sewage or gray water without special dumping facilities.
What about remodeling house so you have private entrance and a locked door for privacy with monitors or phones so you can stay informed?
This feeling of being trapped is very common. Why do you need to be there seven days a week? What about going home to your kids on weekends? They have two people to keep an eye on each other. What local emergency resources are available?
Not being able to talk about these subjects sounds frustrating. What about asking when and if they would be willing to have you help manage things? Keep it general until you find out if they really want you there. Maybe they are independent and you are overstepping what they consider your authority to be. Just guessing so see what they are saying.
If you do get them to agree to POA, do it as soon as practical. I became POA before a major problem happened, and don't forget to get the lawyer to draw up a universal health care proxy because you can't depend on the ones each hospital has in an emergency.
Check the state resources. Many states offer many services to assist seniors.
Stillsongs

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