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I have been caring for my 91 year old father who suffered a right hemisphere temporal stroke the day before his 91st birthday. I was the one who found him and got him to the hospital. He was in the hospital for a week then sent to a skilled nursing facility. He was discharged after 3 weeks and came home to live with me. I went to see him every day. I have been answering phone calls, taking care of his mail/bills, doing more laundry/dishes than ever since I lived alone, Fortunately my father has income so I can pay for home health care for my appontments, food, gas and other things. One brother lives in WV and is caring for his wife who is suffering from a terminal bone marrow disease. The other brother works nights. His days off are spent working for his wife. He has only seen dad 2 days in the last month and a half and that was for thanksgiving. They called me the same day and wanted him ready by 3 pm. I had already arranged for a caregiver for 3 hours and had to pay even though they took him home and didn't even show up until 4 pm. They didn't call when they were bringing him home either so I couldn't make any other plans. I told him I'd appreciate at least 24 hours of notice so I could cancel the caregiver and make the arrangements. They even want to use his new hybrid car to take him home. They have plenty of money so that is not the problem. The brother in WV is full of do this do that when he calls but he does call and does care. My dad had all his ducks in a row with a trust and POA and Advanced care directive. I was primary on all. Since he still has most of his faculties, we recently had documents drawn up making me co-trustee so I can help with any decisions that need to be made. I keep my brothers up to date on the medical situation and the financial especially during this economic mess. I do wish my local brother would come to see him more often but as I read on this site, I can't control anyone but myself. I am glad to have a place where I can commiserate, empathize and sympathize with others in similar boats. Thank you for your honest feelings. I do feel overwhelmed at times.


Welcome! Happy to hear you are getting a lot from this sight. It has helped me in so many ways. Vent anytime you need to, that's what we're here for. You will get a lot of support and encouragement and more importantly have a safe place to put your feelings. We are not robots, and we need support. Again, Welcome......
Ammy- welcome to this site Lindam put it very well when I got overwhelmed with the husband I found a therapist who said if insurance did not cover my visits she would not charge due to me having to deal with so much, and years later to started with another one if you are able even if it is once a month it can be helpful.

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