Getting paid from family

Started by

My mom wants to start paying me to take care of her finances (bills, insurance etc). Fortunately money is not an issue for her, and taking care of her finances does take up a lot of time. How much is fair and should there be a contract?


3930 helpful answers
Yes, there should be a contract. We take on these caregiving roles out of love, but if money becomes a regular thing, for your own protection (especially if you have siblings - no matter how close you are) it's better to get it done legally. At the very least, make a contract between the two of you and have it notarized, but I would suggest an estate attorney. Then make sure all other papers are in order as well - Health POA, financial POA and regular will.

The amount will depend on what you do, and what the your all agree is fair based on what she would pay someone else (family generally ends up doing it much cheaper, but it's a guideline that can save you trouble on the other end.)

Take care of yourself, too.
Honestly, helping her out with her finances wouldn't seem to take up all that much time. I wouldn't ask her for much money for this, actually ,I wouldn't charge her at all for this. She's your Mom.
Sean! Go take care of your mother's finances! I see that Carol suggests a contract ( a POA for Finances). This is probably a good idea if there are siblings involved, so you won't be accused of stealing/fraud/mismanagement. You should not hesitate to do this. If you mother wishes to include a monthly fee for your work, then accept it as part of the overall expenses. It couldn't be THAT complicated. Get a ledger, put all her bills in monthly order and begin paying them. An accountant can help you with this, not a FINANCIAL PLANNER> ugh.
I see no reason not to take some form of payment for what you do. Taking care of our elderly parents is time consuming and, in my case, has prevented me from taking a full time job for the last 10 years. My family needs the money and since she has plenty I do accept money from her. She makes my car payment and gives me a couple of hundred a month.. it is not much, but it helps to make ends meet since every job I have tried to take inthe last 10 years, I have had to quit, because of her daily crises and multiple phone calls... My family should not suffer financially because she is so demanding, so should you accept money?? Sure, why not! If she didn't have you, she would have to paying someone to do all that you do and you will charge less than someone else... so, go for it!
How does accepting money for "chores" affect the 5 year "look back" period should your parent have to eventually enter a nursing home? Is it an acceptable expense? IN NYS - is it different?
Seangormanlpc already said it takes a lot of time and someone
will be paid to handle the finances. In my opinion, there should be a written agreement. I would figure out how many hours is needed each month on average, compute a monthly figure and not bother about counting hours after that. This sort of responsibility is very different from doing laundry, shopping, etc. and I definitely think pay may be accepted.
Yes you should accept pay for the work you do, you do not know how long this will last and may include more duties as time goes by. She probablyy wants to give you and your siblings an inheritance, but you never what will take place from now until the end. This is a way for her to give you or any of your siblings some money now. She will have to pay someone eventually with something with care giving, if it is not a hardship for her, you should accept her money.
yes i think you to be payed but legally my wife got time for that wrong paper work for that 28 yrs
3930 helpful answers
Whether it's laundry or finances, if it would mean paying someone else to do this work, and if the money is there, there's no reason why the person paid shouldn't be a family member.

Generally, everyone is happier this way. However, putting it in writing and in a way that is legal is the best way to go. Act as though it's a contract with an agency. You never know when someone may question your best intentions - at a time when your loved one has memory problems and just takes it all for granted. So, getting the details down in writing (as much as possible, I know it changes daily), is a good thing to do. If it's not done by a lawyer, at least get it notarized. An attorney would be even better.
Yes, accept payment. At first the handling of my father in laws affairs seemed like an easy task. Then I received a letter from a real estate attorney because my father in law had failed to complete the paperwork for the sale of property 25 years ago. The filing of the forms required a payment of $300. Shortly after that we were notified a lien was on another piece of property in his name that was also sold some years ago. More time was spent researching this problem in another state. Now with the down turn of the stock market, there are not enough funds to pay the care facility he lives in. There are family members now saying we spent my father in laws money wrong. Thank goodness we kept good records and had a POA but we were not given payment for the time spent in cleaning up the affairs. A step brother now has the POA and we hope he is able to deal with the difficulties of elder care. The 3 years we did it wore us out.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support