Financial and legal issues

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When is the right time to approach financial and/or legal issues when you are the caregiver of a parent with dementia/alzheimers and you are living with them?


Dear scurrie, please don't wait too long. The right time is ASAP. Trust me, I have been going through a lot with my dad this past year over financial nightmares, long story. But because he has dementia, trying to communicate became impossible. So I had to go file with the probate court for guardianship/conservatorship, so I could help him manage his finances, medical, and everything else. Don't wait until your parent is unable to communicate coherently, do it now. Good luck to you, and wishing you the best.
i need some one to intermiediate with the caregiving of my mother inlaw she lives in my home and another family member gets her money but how do i get help with caregiving? please asap if possible thank you leah
If someone else gets the money, but you do the caregiving, you need some legal advice.
I feel I am in the Eye of the Storm at present. Mom has recovered well from her hip replacement, "survived" sub-acute care and is home again. She is doing well with PT, OT and nurses stopping by to check her vitals. She seems to have rallied, her sense of humor has returned and all is quiet.
So, the house we live in is hers.....with a small second mortgage.
My concern is: if something should happen to her that would impede my abilities to care for her (like a stroke), and she were to go to a nursing home.....what happens to her house?
There are no other assets besides a poopy car, but I hear horror stories of nursing homes taking assets.
How true is this?
Thank you..........if someone could just steer me in the right direction so that I can use this time wisely.
Hi Nancey,

You didn't say if your mom had made any plans in advance, and whether your mom still considered competant. The reason I ask is that if her primary assets are limited to social security and a home, then depending on the state, the assets would need to be used for her care. Many states have what is called a "look back" period, in which assets transferred or sold are still counted as assets by the state.

Given the current system and it's lack of recogntion of the complexities of caregiver relationships you are wise to start asking questions on how to plan for both of your futures. Most caregivers are so busy with the day to day care, it is hard to put on the risk manager hat and envision what could happend over time.
Forget the horror stories and concentrate on planning - you should ask yourself,
how much is owed on the home mortgage & 2nd.
how much income does she have
how much is care in your community for in-home services, skilled facilities, and board & care facilities.
How much income you you have and where would you live if the home was sold?
once you have made out a list of these answers, and added additional Q&A information that is pertinant to your situation go online and find your local family caregiver resource center....there are several national organizations for caregivers too. Just do a search on may also call AARP.

Do not pay anyone for advice until you have spoken to enought non-profit caregiver organizations to have a good handle on what your options are. There are many unscrupulous people who make a business out of advising caregivers & seniors on "shielding assets". Unless they are an accredited CPA or attorney with a specialty in elderlaw, ask questions but keep your checkbook closed.

The truth is, that at some point caregivers who have given up much will have to bite the bullet and re-make their own lives. I suspect that Carol & many others on this board can also give you advice.

Just don't get overwhelmed and ignore it - you are doing a good thing preplanning. One day we will all be returning to the world from our caregiving and it will be a big transition whether we planned or not.

Take care & we will all hope that you are able to keep your mom healthy and withyou for a long time. You sound like a wonderful daughter.
Thank you Cat.
are you saying that if mom sold her house to me rather than signed it over, that this would still be a problem?
Cat i beleave so because if she sell the house to you then they are going to want to know where about the money of the sell. that how it is in california. i have a new problem my grandmother has a sister the just passed away in April and left her 25,000 in cash because she in medcal they are going to want that money for the services they have provided for her. Not only them but she has 4 kids, none of them work, i'm the caregiver she lives with me i do everything for her, if i want to get out i have to pay them or someone else to set with there own mother. If they find out about the money there all going to want some. i don't know, should i keep it from them or tell them and tell them there not getting any.

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