Financial Abuse

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Hello Everyone,

I am so happy that I found this site, because I am going through with my Mom.

Here's my story.

My step father passed and I took off of my job for one month, flew to CA from Georgia, handled all of the arrangements, packed my Mom's house up, had a garage sell, put her home up for sale and brought her back to GA with me. Two months later, my sister-in-law passed and I we had to fly back to CA and, of course I had to bring my mother along. She wanted to visit her friend while we were there, and pulled a fast one on me. When I called to state that I was on my way to pick her up, she had her friend to tell me that she didn't like GA and was staying in CA. I was livid as our flight was leaving out the very next day and I had paid for all of the airfares to return back to GA.

After returning, I made arrangements to get her house off of the market so that she could move back in it, as she had a reverse mortgage and as long as she's living she can remain in it mortgage free. Well my brother and his wife moved into the house to take care of her which was a good thing.

I am her Power of Attorney for healthcare and finances. My brother is a functional drug user and only his wife works. All his life, my Mom has given him money and taken care of him. I had to lock down all of her accounts and I distribute money to her on a monthly basis. She fights against me at every turn and I am the villan. Two claims have been filed agains my brother to the Elderly Abuse Agency. Once is where my Mom transferred $30,000 over to his account and he spent it all in a one month period with nothing to show for where the money went. I filed that claim. The other claim was filed by the bank, where my Mom secretly opened up an account, as the representatives stated that my brother would bring her in their regularly trying to get her to get money for him. His wife's has a low self-esteem and everyone is in denial that my brother needs help.

Okay, now there's always an issue about her finances and it has torn our family apart. but I know that I am doing the right thing in protecting her monies as all she does is gamble's it away playing bingo and gives it to my brother. She fights against me at every angle and says that I am stealing her money. I pay her bills and I have an account for everything that's used.

I had my Mom tested and she failed the memory test and also has dementia. I now have a Declaration of Incompetence, but really can't do anything with it unless I get a conservatorship which is approximately $3,000 and I don't want to use her money in that way. The Elderly Abuse Division told me to keep doing what I am doing and that my Mom has reverted back to a child like stage and doesn't realize that I am only trying to help her and protect her assets.

Every month, after she received her SS check, I have to rush to the bank and pull half of it before they get to the bank. It's unreal. My brother and his wife don't have any rent to pay, therefore I don't understand why my Mom has to use any of her money. I pay all of her bills and anything else that she needs, but I don't send the money to them to handle any business because he'll spend it on drugs.

Does anyone out there know if there's anyway that I can open up a savings account in my Mom's name to have her monies directed there so that she can't get to it?


mqflowers: Welcome to the site! We're glad you found us! Your situation is very sad -and quite distressing. Nothing hurts more than being taken advantage of - even abused - by family. AgingCare can provide you the emotional support you need, through our network of caregivers who take care of each other. But for your financial problems, you really need to seek out the assistance of an estate attorney. Make sure the attorney you choose knows Medicaid law.

To help you locate a reputable elder attorney, try the U.S. Administration on Aging's Eldercare Locator at

Good luck to you, and please come back often to chat with other caregivers like yourself.
I opened up a Guardian Account at my mom's bank. As her POA it allows me to link her account and this account and I can transfer any monies back and forth and she can only get the money in her account and doesn't have access to the Guardian account.

Try this.
3930 helpful answers
It's awful when an elder is manipulated into thinking you are taking money when you were trying to help. This happens. Your father may never know the truth, and that has to be horribly painful, but it's something you'll learn to accept. If you need legal help, may be able to help you.

It only cost me $350.00 to file a petition for Guardian/Conservatorship. Well worth it, and all my parent's account are now in MY name, as Conservator, and they can't touch them. Neither can anyone else. An Elder Law Attorney was not necessary, as I did it all my self at the Probate Court. is hard work, with a LOT of paperwork involved when you go through the court system. Where are you at in the process right now? I've talked to many lawyers, but I don't see where I need to pay them to do what I can do myself. A great lawyer told me this, and it didn't cost me a dime to hear his advice. Praise God! Praying for you, Anne
I have worked out everyting, praise God. Her doctor wrote the letter and I am now payee representative over her SS check. I also sent in DPOA to all bill people and her bank and I was able to register with OPM and I have her direct deposit going into an account that I opened for her.

Since my Mom doesn't know what is going on, or how to manage her money, it was easy for me to process everything since I know all of her information. Therefore, I didn't have to go through Probate, etc. As both of my brothers are drug addicts and they won't even begin to know what to do or where to start.

I will be going to CA to move my Mom to GA with me in a couple of weeks. I have had her doctor call in a sedative for me.
Wow! Good for you. I'm so glad you didn't have to go the Probate way. It's work, and difficult. But sometimes necessary. Sounds like you have a good handle on things, and that your Mom is in great hands! Will you be traveling with her alone or will you have some help with her? Keep us posted how things are going. I wish you and your Mother safe travel and Godspeed.
I have a really bad situation. My mom has dementia and has been in a care facility since February, 2009. My brother and I have had power of attorney for about a year. Before we obtained power or attorney our sister who lived with my mom had her to sign over the family home to her. My mother had already been diagnosed with dementia;and, my sister has received mental health treatment most of her life.

My sister has now sold the property for less than what a small lot would cost. We found out about it about 3-4 months after the fact. Now, my disabled brother who lives in the house with my sister is paying rent to the gentleman who bought the house. It seems that there is a group of people in the little town who are preying on weak minded people.

Has anyone experienced anything similar to this?
If your mom had been diagnosed with dementia before the sale of her home, then this might be considered theft, or elder financial abuse. You may want to consult with an elder law attorney about this. Good luck to you.
3930 helpful answers
This definitely needs to be looked at by an attorney. There could be more than even you can see going on here. And yes, if your mother was diganosed with dementia and then the sale took place, that could be a legal charge against your sister. However, with her mental health issues, there may be some abuse from outside souces. Good luck with this. Please get legal help.

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