Follow
Share

I am the 24/7 caregiver for my 91 yr old grandpa, he is very appreciative for all i do for him. He has 2 children in their 60s, my aunt is his POA. Neither her or my dad come and relieve me, i get 6 hrs each Sat from an agency. I have been his 24/7 caregiver for 3.5 yrs, i want to be able to have a personal life but i feel guilty because my aunt says they will put him in a nursing home. I have no clue what to do!!

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
Is your Gramma still alive? If so, where is she?

My mother moved from living with my sister to a nursing home, and she really seemed to perk up there. Bingo every week! Gets her hair done without leaving the premises. Flirts with the men. Looks forward to the live entertainment (accordion is her favorite). Enjoys the food (gained weight). Five of her children visit at least once a week. She is more content than she has been. (She's been there over a year.)

Sometimes a modern nursing home is the best thing for an elder who has health issues. Why are you resisting this solution?
(0)
Report

Amen to all comment's. ..I am amazed how I've volunteered all of my life because no one else would
Finally waking up to having my own life even in the midst of crisis here at home...boundaries here I go!
(1)
Report

CRS, I'm afraid you are being used and abused by your family. I can't help thinking of Cinderella and the abusive situation she was in.

There is no reason whatsoever why the other family members shouldn't be helping, except that they've gotten you to do it.

I would either meet with the other family members, e-mail them or send them letters (by certified mail, just to make sure they get them) stating that (a) you're no longer going to be the full time caregiver, or that (b) you need assistance, then spell out what you want, such as relief every day at certain hours, help with cleaning, cooking, laundry, medical trips, etc.

I would also set a deadline for them to make arrangements, and failing that, look for someplace else to live and begin a life of your own. Tell them that too, as you don't want to leave your grandfather in the lurch. But there's no logical reason why they can't be taking care of him instead of dumping the job off on you.

Working with only a 6 hour relief period on Saturday is what I'd equate with a type of servitude reminiscent of Dickensian England.

Oh, and start looking for a paid job. You're losing income and retirement credits in the situation you're in now. Think of your future.
(4)
Report

Crs, I see by your profile that you are caring for not only your Grandfather who has a heart condition/stroke, but also for your Grandmother who has arthritis. Are both grandparents able to take care of their personal needs or do you have to jump in to help them on a regular basis?

Curious why your Grandparents' son and daughter are not helping with the caregiving? Do they both have medical issues that make it difficult for them to help? Their age shouldn't be an issue if they are healthy.... there are many of us here on the forums who are in their 60's and 70's helping out our own parents. Why were you chosen or did you volunteer to be the caregiver? I hope they are paying for your services so you would have money for yourself.

Why wouldn't you want your grandparents to be in a nursing home? My gosh, they would be around a whole bunch of people from their own generation, they would have so much in common.... such as music and movies. There would be dining in the common dining room with new found friends. And activities they could enjoy.
(2)
Report

And what would be terrible about Grandpa being in a Nursing Hone? Does he need NH care? Or could he benefit from assisted living.

How much are you being paid for this job? Are you able to do things with your children, like go on their class trips, attend soccer games?
(0)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter