I'm feeling guilty and very sad that I had to put my mother in an assisted living facility today.
After 6 long years of keeping my mother in her home in spite of 2 broken hips,one broken arm and a pacemaker,today my heart is heavy because she is in a ALF. I could no longer do it. I am alone with no help except the ladies that have come and gone like a revolving door,who i have paid to live and care for her.But she has a very abusive side and will scream insults,throw items,or even attack you when she is angry. I am emotionally drained by letting her place so much guilt on me. I cannot continue hiring women who have even called the police about her abuse. She lies and says its "them" they are all mean,lazy good for nothing women. Did I tell you she is
lucid, with no memory or dementia conditions?
She has always been a very strong willed,controlling woman,but as with all who are in her age group 88 years,it has become totally out of control. She will tell anyone off no matter where or who it is. She is on Xanax,and does have emotional problems for quite some time now. But she refuses to take her meds at times,of course she intimidates the woman caring for her and gets her way. Baths are a mission,again she will manipulate the women,so no bath. My husband and family say I have changed,to the point I needed to start antidepressants
I am the only living family she has,my father and brother passed away .As I write this I can imagine her first night away in a strange bed with strangers and not feeling safe. Gosh how I pray this could have been different. My faith sustains me and the love of Jesus has kept me from giving up completely. I love you Mom,but you are safe and cared for.