Family funeral trauma, and mama drama. When tragedy strikes home.
My little sister called Sunday Night, saying, "My daughter is dead." She and her husband had just been out in California for 10 days to visit. The evening they left, her daughter went for a ride on her motorcycle, which ended her life, tragically. She was only 21, leaving behind a 21 year old husband, and 2 year old boy. Needless to say, family is devasted.
Problem is, she lived in CA, and her family is in Illinois, where she and her husband is from. There will be a memorial service both places. Grandma, (our mother) lives in Michigan. This requires travel for all of us. My sister knows of the difficulties with my Mom (physical and mental health issues), and both expect me to drive Mom 8 hours to the funeral in Illinois next week.
Mom expects is, even though she threatens constantly to "take me to court" for [non-existent] "abuse." And my sister expects me to drive Mom there, even though she "doesn't want Mom in her house," because she "just can't deal with her." That puts the entire burden of transport, housing, care, etc. on me, as Mom's legal "Guardian," and responsible party.
Due to Mom's Personality Disorder, our Dad's Alzheimer's Disease, family dynamics, and several others factors, the whole situation is grievous. Needless to say, my husband and I are struggling, as well. (Not just over the loss of my niece, but by the whole dysfunctional system.)
The worst is my Mom. She has torn up her dance card with all of us, but everyone demands she be included in the funeral, and that I must facilitate that. Not only that, but everyone "hates" everyone else, with clashing values, and unreasonable expectations. What a mess!
Prayer appreciated, as well as constructive suggestions. Please be gentle, as we don't need judgements and criticism at this time. Thank you.