Deny my mother her breakthrough pain meds

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I have proof that there are two nurses that have denied my mother her breakthrough pain maeds due to a UTI (bacteria identified as E Coli) my mothers stroke left her paralyzed and unable to communicate and make informed decisions and I am her court ordered legal guardian. I want to have the two nurses that have done this in the past two day arrested for abuse, neglect, and denying her the pain meds after she actually said "it hurts to pee" words that she has never said before and has had countless UTI's since the stroke, which tells me and other staff that actucally care that she is in pain. I want to go on monday and take police and have these nurses aressted for negligence, she told them she need her pain meds, she told them she was in pain. her usual communication are the words "back, back, back" after getting to know her a person can figure out with her gestures when she says that what she is trying to say. For her to actually say she hurts and it hurts to pee is a HUGE red flag that she is in serious pain. she has never admitted to pain to anyone but me and i have to record her on my camera phone telling me and show it to nurse and they always give her the breakthrough pain meds, but, I got a look at her records, she has not been given the meds since wed of this week, and she has told two different nurses the last two days in front of me and a trusted cna that she hurts and needs pain meds, i recorded this just in case, but found out tonight, after nurse assured me she would get her the meds right away, that she was never given the meds. I want to charge the two dofferent nurses with abuse, neglect and denying my mother her right to be painfree. i want to take police with me monday and have them arrested. i wiull not move my mom to another nursing home, it wont change anything, and besides, it certainly wont help the people there that do not have family or friends that make sure they are treated right. i need advice asap!


I'm sure no expert, but did you talk to the courts or an attorney on how to proceed or what you can do legally? I don't know if you can just go straight to the police. I also don't know what the laws for your state are.

I would investigate on how to report neglect or abuse and see how it is defined first on how to approach it. I know for my parents I don't have that issue, but I have supposed friends of theirs for 45+ years that have hurt my mother emotionally and have put my parents in danger due to bad advice. I am to the point of getting a restraining order, but talking to an attorney about my options based on their relentless and badgering moves.

I'd seek out elder law counsel if you can or if the courts have someone, since you are court appointed. You want to make sure you can prosecute or deal with things as need be and appropriately. Maybe someone else here has gone through the same thing in lacking on giving meds as ordered?
So sorry for your Mom! Thank God she has a loving daughter looking after her interests! Have you talked to the Nursing and Staff Coordinator? Have you talked to the Director of the Facility? What is their policy? Have you called your Mom's Physician? What is going on there??? Sounds fishy. Get lots of information. A friend of ours who is a State Policeman said that he is investigating Medication abuses in a local Nursing Home. I'll ask him more information when we see him in about 8 hours. Will post answer in approximately 12 hours from now... Let us know if anything gets resolved. Praying for both of you.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Here are the steps that will be the most effective to take. What state is the facility located in?

All facilites are regulated by DHS and must document treatment. If your mom's UTI's are recurring then there is a procedure to in place to immediately identify the cause, and develop an effective treatment
Meet with the DON (director of nursing) and the administrator. Review her file and see what was prescribed to clear the infection - and if any pain meds were ordered. Ask to see the tests. The DON & Administrator are the only ones who would be authorized in most circumstances to have this discussion with you. You may also call the Ombudsman and ask her to meet you at the facility and investigate. You can file a complaint with the Ombudsman & DHS - they are patient advocates and will assist you if there is neglect. The Ombudsman and DON should be able to resolve this for you quickly and make certain that everything is done for your mom as it should be.

Don't hesitate to move her if you feel there is neglect - but also work with these people, they are professionals with licenses - being proactive should help immediately. You don't have to trust them 100% - but do give them the opportunity to correct anything that wasn't taken care of and counsel any staff that did not perform correctly. You can file a grievance with the DHS later - take care of your mom for now.

Take care, be strong. Your mom is lucky to have you.
The State Police friend asked if they are stealing the meds. Their system comes first unless you can prove a crime (stealing of the meds) has been committed, and you can prove it. Beyond that, he said go to the Director of Nursing, Physician, and Facility Manager. He said you still have to go through the facility staff. Get information first before threatening with action. The first step is getting your Mom the necessary treatment. After that, information, and file complaints if necessary. Not going to the police, but through proper channels. The State regulates and oversees facilities, and has specific ways of handling complaints. That is your second step. Have you talked with Mom's Physician?

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