Denial in the face of serious illness and it's roll in mental health.

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After a exam and blood tests a urologist has informed my grandfather (89) he has Prostate Cancer. He doesn't believe it. He also no longer believes he has Diabetes and that the "small pills can't really do any good because, well, they are so small...." Does it matter what he believes? He is content, not in pain and takes the medication prescribed to him...


As it is such a slow moving cancer, it is likely not to kill him any way, so it really is a non-issue i guess. Too old for surgery it is "just there".
J, my dad got prostate cancer. His doc said it was slow moving and he'd just keep an eye on it. By the time this cancer was discovered, my dad had already suffered a near fatal heart attack, developed glaucoma and Parkinson's and Alz/dementia. His doctor said the prostate cancer was the least of dad's worries so we never even told him he had it. At 60 yrs of age, my dad was a jogger, a cyclist and a marathon runner. He died at age 69.
Whoa, No garuntees there. and Martina Navratillova eat to win still ended up with a cancer too. Pernicious nasty disease. 69 is young. I am sorry you lost him so early.

I have read Prostate Cancer is really not likely to kill you at such an advanced age, other things would come first. and as he doesn't believe he has it, it is sort of a non-issue so far.

Thank you for responding.
Ya know, at 89, maybe being in denial isn't so bad. Does he have dementia or does he think he's invincible? What would he do if the cancer was the agressive type? If he doesn't believe he has it, I don't see how you can convince him otherwise.
My mom is the opposite. The more diseases/illnesses, the more medication to take, the better. She supposedly has stage 4 cirrohis of the liver and takes at least 20 pills plus insulin per day. I can't see how it helps a bad liver. There just aren't words to describe how dumb I think this is.
My dad's family history included heart disease and Alz, there's no way he could've escaped it, like I probably won't either. My dad was a wonderful father and I sitll miss him terribly.( I had to boo-hoo after I posted my comment this morning, just thinking of him.)
Nowadays, there's a pill for everything. But people forget that genes play a major role in your health. They take that magic pill and when they get a disease, then they wonder why that magic pill didn't prevent it. Kinda crazy but that's just my opinion.
That is what I am thinking, if it isn't life threatening, does he HAVE to think about it? He also says now he "Doesn't believe he has Diabetes.." Bodies Change, maybe he doesn't, but what do ya do. He still takes his pills...

I know about genetics...You know people who are totally indifferent to teeth and gum care yet have no cavities, others obsessive flossers and dental visits and they have a mouth full of crowns. No guarantee one way or t'other.

I think it is good you had a cry over your Dad, We miss people we love when they are gone, why shouldn't we. Some sadness is not like being immobilized from pain. It remind us what they mean to us and the hole their loss creates in our lives.
A friend of mine at work father is 90 plus and he still drives around and lives alone...and has friend's dad's doctor said he will die first before the prostrate cancer kills him.
My mom has started her issue up about her eyes again. Two years ago I ran her all over town even to a retina specialst about her eyes....well they are just getting worse and will continue to get worse and there is nothing they can do. So she started this whole campaign again with the eye doctor circuit. I told her I am not going to leave work and take her to these doc's since they already said nothing can be done. So the poor caregiver is going to do it. She keeps thinkg some shot, or spray or pills will make her eyes better. No matter how much I say there is nothing that can be done, she WILL NOT ACCEPT IT. Oh well guess she will her it for herself instead of them talking to me on the side. My mother has never listened to me in my entire life...never...she never ever trusted me for anything.....really something else!
Parent refusing to listen to adult child, I watched that one for fifteen years between my aging grandparents and my mom. If it wasn't a doctor telling them, it had no value to them what ever it was. take the bus fall off not good idea, walk in 102 degree heat when you could just ask for a ride ,no, did it themselves with varying degrees of success and injury, stubborn, selectively clinically deaf and did i mention stubborn?

Grand ma was same way, She thought the radiations was medicine and didn't understand why she could not just keep taking it. She could not comprehend that what was healing her was also tearing her system sown.

try psychology, send a pack of eye drops to your self, tell her you got them over seas on line because they are not FDA approved and very potent, use them three times a day, see if it works, you never know.

or you may just have to listen to he r be mad at you for her eyes that have no fix. Which is ducedly UN FAIR!
I can sure relate to the parent not listening to the adult kid. Look up the word stubborn in the dictionary and you'll see my mom's picture. The worst part is I'v always been the target, she's fought with me since I was a little kid. I am so thankful for having such a sweet dad, at least I didn't have to go into therapy because of him. When I told mom I'd been because of her, she told me I was crazy and it was all in my head. Oh did I say compassion is not her strong suite?
When it comes to health problems - my mom is a retired nurse, she should and does know better. I told her she was a sheeple, she'd buy anything the doc said, even if he is wrong. Going to the doc appts with her was a trip.
Oh well, all of that is over now. After doing the best I could, she disowned me/my adult kids and took up with the paid caregiver.
Hmm maybe well rid of/ Why does family have to be so stressful. i guess it isn't for every one but some of us sure get doozies..
Doozies is right. I can go along for awhile and be fine, then it hits me, my own mother prefers everybody in the world to me, her daughter. Talk about a slap in the face. I agree, well rid of. Last night my daughter said, is it terrible that I feel so much relief that we don't have to deal with grandma? I said if it's terrible then count me in because I feel the same way. I always said, just because you have the same blood running through your veins, doesn't mean you'll like each other or get along.
Anyway, back to your grandpa. He or any adult doesn't have to get treatment for cancer. So I don't think there's any legal issue. I mean at 89 what are ya goin' do?

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