Dealing with bathroom accidents

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How do you deal with accidents? My Mom has been her for two weeks and she has had 4 accidents where she apparently wakes up in the night and had diaherra. Sometimes she makes the bed and doesn't tell me. I've told her eveyone has accidnets but she has to tell me. She doesn't clean herself up very good and there is always a mess in the bed and all over the carpet. I've told her she has to tell me so I can help clean her up. I'm trying not to get angry and stay positive. Any words of wisdom?? thanks


I am not sure if my words are of wisdom but I hope they help you some what. My Uncle lives with me and my family, we had to tear down a wall or two and build a bedroom where our family room was ( we had family and living room) from working with the elderly for many years, I remembered very well that they will and do have accidents on a regular basis. We put hard wood floors in his room ( I know this is a costly avenue the price range varies and we are not by any means financialy set) I already had hard wood in my bathroom. As for the bed, I would invest in a plastic mattres liner and invest in diposable mats that she are plastic on one side and cotton on the other, she will sleep on top of that, so if she does have an accident it will be less mess for you and her. It is very frustrating I know, They really feel embarressed and very degrated when these accidents occur so if they think they can hide them they will. You are doing the right thing by talking to her and letting her know you are not upset but you need to know so her bedding can be cleaned and fresh for her at bedtime. Good luck and I hope this helps you.
Maybe the first question is, why is our mother having these accidents? After that, you can also use disposable bed pads (on top of everything else, if necessary) and disposable briefs. You may have to convince her of this, but surely she will see the advantage to them. The store brand works well, is less costly than Depends. They come with side tabs or just regular pull ups. The pull up style can be torn at the side if necessary for removal. I found that when my mother first started wearing briefs she would remove them at night. I put regular underpants over them, and that seemed to do the trick.
If by chance your bathroom is carpeted, you might try using the kind of hard plastic used under rolling desk chairs. Our bath is very small, and we purchased one that was about the right size and cut it down. A lot cheaper than redoing the floor. They are textured on the top and grip the carpet. If your mom is steady, maybe a large one by her bed would work too.

Hope this helps.
I'm so happy to be able to discuss this with others!

I found a matress cover that feels alot better than the old plastic kind. I got it at a matress store that is now out of bussiness, I'm sure other companies make the same thing. I think it would be worth it to find one of them.

My mother in law problem is not that frequent. I buy 6packs of hanes cotton breifs on line. They cost less than less than $1.30. I tell her to throw them out. She trys to hand wash them, what a mess.

It makes sense to try and figure out if a change in diet or meds could solve the problem.
My mother also has accidents and they always seem to come in the middle of the night or early morning hours. She also at first hid it from me. She was too embarassed to tell me. She felt so bad that her daughter had to clean her and clean up after her.
I explained things happen to us all, but it took a while for her to tell me or at least let me know when something was happening.
We put her in adult diapers, which if she has diarrhea it just runs through.
I did watch her diet and did find things that cause her diarrhea, which was beans any kind, cabbage cooked or slaw, and she loves her candy therefore I had to get candy without nuts.
I also gave her yogart this also seemed to help.
I completely understand what you are going through. Just hang in there and you will figure it out.
I know this is an old thread but I hope there is someone out there who can give updated information on this problem. I'm packing up my Mom right this minute to have her come live with me. She's only 66 but she isn't in good shape...much of it is likely due to sedentary lifestyle her whole life...but that is another issue. She didn't tell me she had the exact problem described above with middle of the night accidents. She actually had one while I was here and it was horrific. It was everywhere and after discussing this, she claims it happens a couple of times a month, no more. But the evidence of her linens and so on indicates it is far, far more frequent. I asked if she had spoken with her doctor and she said she told him that if she didn't go for a few days that then she would have soft stool. Not helpful but we'll deal with that after the move. Right now I'm trying to figure out what to do in the mean time to keep her clean and make this not such a nightmare. I have carpet and it would be the end of the carpet the first time she did one like the other night. I bought some depends but there are so many kinds and I have no idea which is right. She says that they are loose around the leg. Any information on brands or procedures or help in trying to figure out why this happens would be helpful. Also, just changing her diet wouldn't work...she will come up with elaborate (and really false) reasons why she should eat so and so and not eat another thing. She does have diverticulosis and diabetes. Thank you!
I sounds like she is willing to use disposable undies, and that is positive. The choices are bewildering, aren't they? Buy small packages of several and learn through trial and error what seems to work best. Have her ask for your assistance in removing the undies if she has had an accident -- or you can have almost as big a mess as if she hadn't been wearing it. You'll need some way to communicate bedroom-to-bedroom so she can get your help. (Cell phones can work well for that.)

Definitely talk to her new doctor about the issue when she is settled in.

She apparently doesn't get a strong enough urge to wake her up until it is too late. Would it help to have a bedside commode, sitting on a large washable rug, very nearby?

You may be able to observe some dietary triggers. For example, if a high-fat meal seems to be associated with these episodes, you'll try to avoid high-fat meals. The fact that you'll be living together will give you a little more (but not complete) control.

Hang in there!

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