Dad rescinds durable POA

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My 89 yr old dad has contacted an attorney to rescind the durable POA I have had for the 3 yrs since he had a stroke. He accuses me of spending all of his money even though I have tried to tell him his investments went down by 40% in the past year. He has a house and property that has been on the market for 5 years that I am trying to update enough to sell. I did take out a home equity loan in his name to pay for the necessary repairs. The amount of labor and time spent on the house has been done by me and my family. I will gladly give up the POA but am worried about who will handle his affairs and take him the dr., meet him at the ER, etc. I am an only child but there are 3 stepchildren living in other states. None have been able to visit and do not call. Any suggestions on how to handle this type of problem. It is making me sick with worry.


Your father has contacted an attorney to rescind your POA over his affairs. Hopefully that attorney will give your dad some advice and answer some of your dad's questions.

Has your dad recovered enough from his stroke to take over his own affairs? If so, then let him. The POA may not be needed any longer.

While you had POA - you took out the loan to fix up his house that was for sale, did your father want the house fixed up?
Is this why he feels that you are spending his money? Depending on the neighborhood where the house is maybe the better choice was to lower the price? Especially in this economy?

Just because you no longer control his finances does not mean you can no longer help him or be his chiild.

It sounds like having POA (financial vs medical) was a condition you want in order to be willing to help him. One thing has nothing to do with the other.

You won't go to the hospital the next time he is taken there because he wants control of his money back? Maybe there is a reason for him to worry.

I have my dads Medical POA but I do not have his financial POA. I do take care of his money and my name is on his bank account. But I never do anything without his knowing and approval.

I do everything for my dad from shopping, dr appts, reading him his mail as he is nearly blind, he is often a pain in the butt and at time I cannot stand him but I would never make having control of his finances a condition on my helping him or taking him to appts.
Dear ixiimom, i suggest that you gather all you documents, bank account info and info on the house and the loan that you took out and any records that you have kept about the house repairs. Just any and all records that will validate your handling of your dads finances for the past 5 yrs and talk with your dads attorney. Also medical records that show your dad's mental status.
I hope this was helpful to you. Hang in there.
I agree that if your Dad is capable, he should handle his own finances. There are also accountants with expertiese in the area of elder accounting. Maybe you can encourage your Dad to go through an accountant. As far as his medical/personal needs, aren't you still his child and want to help?

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

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