Charity contributions out of hand

Follow
Share

How do you handle a generous mild to moderately demented 88 year old Mom living in a different state who responds with $10 to $15 checks to every charity solicitation letter. I don't want to take her checkbook away, but for a while there would even be two to three checks in one month to the same questionable charity. She particularly is on the list of those that send "gifts" and ask for a contribution. I get her bank statement on line to keep track and after showing her copies of the checks, at least for the moment it has slowed down. I am afraid she will forget again and start responding. She loves to get mail, and the more she sends, the more lists she is on to get more.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
31

Comments

Show:
1 2 3 4
We get mail and phone calls to donate to various vet organizations. It is sad to say that some fundraisers see vets as a cash cow. I would say to stick with the tried and true vet organizations.

Animal charities are another cash cow. If someone wants to give to animals, they should give to their local humane society. That way the money goes to caring for the animals. The fundraisers for the national humane society only give a few pennies on the dollar for animal care.

I know people have to have jobs, but when I donate money I really don't like most of it to go to the fundraising company.
(0)
Report

Jessie, regarding the veteran charities we get at least 2 to 4 envelopes a week at the office. My boss likes to donate to this well deserved cause twice a year, but enough already. He's almost ready to STOP donating.
(1)
Report

My father had mixed dementia. His biggest symptom was that he would shop til he dropped from catalogs and would send money to charities. It was nearly impossible to deal with, even though I lived in the same house. I got on Catalog Choice and had many catalog cancelled behind his back. One -- Harriet Wright -- wrote him and he was so upset. My mother was in collaboration with me. But when he got upset, she turned on me and blamed me. It was ugly.But he was spending $1-2K a month on worthless junk that no one ever used. He was entertaining himself, ordering and opening packages. Most of this stuff was worthless trinkets.

When I could, I would toss the catalogs to the side of the porch. That was hard to do because he sat in a chair looking out the window all day long every day. He could see when the mail came and what I took out of the box.

Many catalog companies paid no attention to requests to cancel. The only thing that made them finally cancel was when the orders stopped after his death.

And charities -- don't get me started. I think there is now one veteran charity for each person in the military. I believe most charities are to provide jobs for fundraising companies with some going to who they are supposed to benefit. I have a bad taste for charities now.

I had a nearly impossible fight to ward off charities and catalogs even though I lived in the same house. I don't know if anyone could do anything if they didn't. There are companies that want people's money so badly that they have no conscience at all about targeting seniors. I do think that 80+ mailing lists should be illegal, since anyone purchasing these lists are looking for easy marks.
(0)
Report

can you ask your parent to tell you who they want the donation to go to, and say you will take care of it? ( NOT) And screen the mail if you can, I know that;s hard from a distance. Can you have the mail forwarded to you, and send them a packet of legitimate mail once a week? My dad loved catalogues.. just to look at?
(1)
Report

Think what I'll do is censor his mail as I collect our mail all the time. Just give him one or two that come in just to make him feel good. The ones that I know are legit. And I answer the calls. We also have the answering machine.

Our cable company which provides our landline service has a feature that I use to block calls. *60. Works very good (If I remember to do it :) )
(1)
Report

The "Do not call list" blocks out telephone calls from just about everyone EXCEPT charities and political parties. Once someone orders from a catalog, you are placed on a call list and/or mail outs from that company and all the companies under that corporate umbrella.

The calls that really rattle my cage are calls from home improvement companies, the caller will say "You called us to come out for an estimate for new windows, what would be a good time?". With enough of those types of calls I could see if someone who doesn't have memory issues would think they had memory issues wondering if they had call the company to have estimate. It can freak you out sometimes.
(0)
Report

Had a bad time with this with my Mom. Eventually we took over her checkbook and put her credit card in a safe place. Told Mom that it was just a help and anytime she wanted to write a check to these people we'd be happy to write it out for her and she could sign the check. It has worked good for us. It has helped us to know where she was sending her money. And she has quit sending them money. I don't think she likes asking us to write out her check.
What I found is that a lot of these charities, political organizations etc. do is send out solicitations for money about every two weeks, long enough for a senior with memory problems to forget that they'd already sent a donation. I would talk with your postmaster about putting her on a no junk mail list too.
Regarding phone solicitations/scams that was harder to deal with. She was on a no call list but still calls got through. We spoke to the phone company and they helped as best they could. We also contacted the police when there were obvious scam calls. The calls still come but not as often and I usually try to answer the phone and I am not nice.
These folks that prey on the elderly like this are pure evil!!!!
My Mom like yours loves to get mail. I often think it's a shame friends and extended family can't take a moment once a week or even once a month to drop a short note to the older folks. They'd love it and maybe they wouldn't be as likely to get their mail "fix" from some evil scammer.
(0)
Report

Get control of the money. Get rid of the credit cards. Have someone intercept the mail and throw out the charity junk. Get phone calls screened through your I phone and or get a programable call blocker. (HQTelecom.com) I'm doing most of this stuff long distance so dad won't give all his money away to the bogus cop charities.
(1)
Report

Hubby is getting all kinds of political junk mail. I'd like to toss it all. How can I find out if the asking party is legit?
(0)
Report

What I do is I tear up what they sent to my mom then send it back to them in their envelope. It takes a few, times but it works.
(0)
Report

1 2 3 4
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Related
Questions