I feel like life is passing me by and my life is not "normal." I work my full-time job and when I come home from work, I care for my mom and provide her with companionship. On weekends I have in-home help but even that is very depressing. Spring is coming. My life feels very depressed. My mother will soon be 86 and has no dementia. She lives with me and my roommate. She can no longer live alone. Her home is in Pennsylvania and I reside in Maryland so logistically I had to have my mother move in with us since I still work and my career is very important to me. When the in-home help leaves, I begin to feel down. I don't enjoy spending long periods of time with my mother in her room as she and I do not like the same TV shows and then there is her hearing deficit which I am working on. She will be getting hearing aides even though she has fought me on this issue. I tell her it is unfair to think she does not need them when the TV is blaring and she is living now with others. I used to have a wonderful independent life with no children/pets and primarily enjoyed my career. All of this has changed. My family is useless and I have pretty much disowned them as they are selfish and care not what I am going through. For almost three years I have been totally emershed in caring for my mom. I have been with her every step of the way as she recovers from open heart surgery. I have been party of 1 sleeping at various hospitals and making sure that her medical needs were addressed. I am 61 now and so far healthy. But there is no joy in life. I have been to therapists and the last one was a joke. She sat there and really didn't seem interested. I try to deal with all of this. Add to the equation that I am dealing with some "stuff" like getting older and how depressing that is and then add to the situation living with your elderly parent and if that isn't depressing enough I don't know what is. I am tired. I have in-home help so I am much more fortunate than many and I know this. Tonight I am just sad and feel like jumping out of my skin. The in-home help leaves in 30 minutes. If I didn't have my career I would go crazy. This is awful depressing. What do I have to look forward to? Absolutely nothing. This is my life now and then most likely my mother will pass before me and then what? I will grieve and still have no joy. I never thought my life would come to this. I will not put my mother in a nursing home. She is doing pretty well and has a great mind. Her family in Pa never visit and her life is sad enough. I have always been a great daughter. But my life feels like it is no life. I have been a great daughter and have taken care of my mom emotionally and financially since I have been 19 years old. I left home for the big city but always put her needs first. Bought her a home, took her on countless vacations, treated her like a queen. I have no one here for me. I have distanced from my few friends and who wants to go out when they feel so low. Yes I have burnout but so be it. I appreciate anyone commenting as I need the emotional support. Bless you all.