Caregiver Loneliness: The Heart of most Stress and Depression

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We have chatgroups about stress, mental illness, problems and g*d - but we never talk about the loneliness of being a caregiver. Lets talk about loneliness which I think makes everything worse. Its possible to be lonely in a crowded room, or big family if no one hears you. I come to this board with I am lonely and many times leave still feeling lonely ----- so here it is.


Our mom fell just yesterday. She can't be left alone anymore. Between the three of us, we struggle. I can only imagine if I were alone without my sister and niece to help with my mom. It is depressing to walk into her house, potty, curtains closed, medicine supplies everywhere, toilet paper in the garbage can with urine smell. My mom stays depressed and it just showers down on those of us trying to help. Some days nothing we do is right. She criticises us and how we do things. We do wonder, is it just us? Are there others?
You are not alone. Many time when a person (in this case your mom) feels that they are losing control of their life and things around them, they lash out and find fault. It seems to be an expression of their frustration and often it hurts the ones that love them the most. How is her insurance? Can you get some nursing support now and then so you can get a break? What used to make you happy? Music, reading, cooking, sports...? Can you try to find a bit of time for yourself to reconnect with that? It probably seems indulgent, but when we first brought my father in to live with us, my every two week mani-pedi was like therapy. It gave me a break from work, home and caregiving responsibilities. Another thought is trying to help your mom recall some more positive times in her life. How is her mind? Could you give her a project of trying to record some of the early family events? It might give her a purpose and take her mind off of her current situation.

Hang in there!!!!
Thanks for the comment, but back to the topic - caregiver loneliness if anyone wants to comment on that.
yes I can see where you are coming from,my mother in law moved in with me and my husband.She has a daughter that refuses to help and my husband works,comes home eats and sleeps.I feel like im the all alone in this ,no one wants to hear what i say. i sit and cry at nitghts feeling all alone and no where to turn,i know this is of no help but yes i feel it.
Yes, I can relate with a husband that works, comes home and then goes to his computer or anything that keeps him separated from the events that have taken place during my day with my mother. She was just diagnosed with Dementia and in addition she has other mental illness issues. We can't have a normal mother-daughter relationship because she can't talk about anything without getting angry and walking away from me. I walk around with a heavy heart all the time trying to sift through my emotions, wondering if I'm losing my mind or not. When I try to talk to my husband when he does give me a moment, he gets angry and walks away from me too! Yes, lonely, that is a good word to describe one way that I feel since caring for my mother.

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