Two years this July my mother has been living with me. She is a mean and hateful woman and I just can't do it anymore.

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My mother moved in with me when my oldest sister dies who lived with her. My brother died when I was 9. My mother and 2 sisters have been addicted to pain meds for years. One sister comitted suicide and the other who lived with mom died when her colon died. Her body couldnt even process the pain meds anymore. Years ago I made the decision to walk away and would only hear from mom when the oldest sister drained her accounts . When she died my moms accountwas charged 983 dollars in overdraft charges alone. So my only option was to move her in. She was in the hole over 2000.00. My husband and I discussed it. We felt this may be a chance to form a friendship if nothing else.


It has been a battle since after the first 3 months. When she accused my daughters fiance of stealing her pain pills I took control of them. She is forced to go to a pain management dr to get her pain meds every 3 months. She goes in my room searching for them while we work. She accuses me of stealing her money. There is nothing wrong with my moms mind. Just this month alone she has spent 732.00 at qvc. She has spent 1000's with qvc since shes been here. Mom has copd and has oxegen in her room. In comes the worst of the argument. She smokes a pack a day in her bedroom and often dosent turn the oxegen off. Im terrified she will cause an explosion and kill us with her. When I take the cigs it turns into a horrible argument. My mother has treated her grandchildren so horribly none have been to my home for 2 years. She has a sister who will not even answer her phone when she calls. She asked a cousin if she could move in and was told no. So she informed me that I would have to have a judge remove her from my home. I accepted years ago that my mom had no use for me. At 10 years old she informed me that she couldnt believe god took johnny instead of me. I heard that for years. I would cry untill I matured and realized she was the one messed up not me.


Now I am 50 years old and taking the verbal abuse again. I hear about how fat I am and dumpy I am. I buy a new outfit and get told I look rediculous. I need some help trying to figure out how to get her out of here. I had to give her the pain meds back last week because she threatened to quit taking her other medicines and she would accuse me of keeping them from her. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Ive been happily married for 28 years to a wonderful man and have 2 beautiful daughters. We own our own home. She has her own room with a bath and never has anyone in my family not made her feel this wasnt her home too. We fix her plate every night, take her to dr. Appts, wash her clothes, and still she treats us this way. Anyone who can please guide me in the right direction I would be so grateful. I am so stressed. I cant sleep, ive gained 40 pounds and im tired everyday.


Have a blessed day

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News across the nation.....Mommy Dearest has totaled her car.....nobody was hurt, she was at fault.
Now what? Will she or will she not buy a car? I hope not. 89 yrs old.
She said after the accident, that when she did her renewal for her drivers license test last Dec., she was told by the examiner, she drives very well for her age.....you know what my comment was to her......that examiner is an Idiot. And so goes my story.....hey everyone, heads up. :)
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You should feel very good about trying your best to do all you can do provide a safe place for your mom to stay at home with you. Sometimes I feel that no matter what you do it is never good enough. The big issue is also that she is not making your home safe by smoking with the oxygen as well as the other disrespect your going through. I'm glad your going to work on you. Something I need to learn how to do. So glad I found this forum and other people going through what we are. All the best of success to you.
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OH WOW! Thank you for posting. I don't have any answers, I just posted something so similar. I have the same situation, but it's my MIL. Please read my post, at least you'll know your not alone.
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folks - this issues has been resolved. In fact the mother here was placed and well cared for in a facility. She has died since. She was a person with very serious mental health issues which made life very difficult for those around her.

Stacey!!! maybe time to make some changes?????
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Staying couped up in her room is not good for her anyways. The downside is watching her shows. That's what my mother does. Weather channel most of the day..electricity has gone up since she's moved in. I guess we all have our mothers with us at home with different opinions. I love this support group, and I've also learned to "make a decision" before things get out of hand or when I or mom get stressed out. All I know right now I'm caring for my mother until I no longer can..take care of you and your family too.
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*****
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Hello Elisa,
I just received your email, but I see you posted this in 2013. Rather then go into this at length I want to ask you if you are still in the same circumstance.
Midwest
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OMG, it's so crazy to reread an old post from 2 years ago (just a few posts back), and see that NOTHING HAS CHANGED, and I'm still bitchin about the same things! Lol!
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Lisa, yours was the very first thread that got me hooked on this site, and I learned so much from you and all of your KA gang! Lol! I am happy to hear that you are free at last and can hold your head up high knowing that you made sure that she was well cared for til the bitter end! Good for you! Now go on to enjoy your family, I know that your husband was such a stand up and supportive guy and it would be great if you gave us a heads up on his parents ascwell, as we were very invested in them as well! Your thread was instrumental in my finding my way through this awesome website, finding these incredible and helpful caregivers and their support helps me through some very tough emotions at times. I'm so glad you stopped back in to touch base, and please don't dismantle your thread yet, as I do want to breeze back through it for inspiration! You Rock Girl!!!
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Lisa -wish you would leave your thread. There is so much in it that others can learn from. Love you too Big ((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
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