What to do with Busy Body visitors at the nursing home.

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My Mom has been in the nursing home for amost 2 years. The locals are wonderful to go visit the old folks. My mother is the type that latches onto them as her "best friends". Today one lady called to tell me she had made an appointment for mother at a Hearing Aid store. She wants to give mother the hearing aids from her deceased mother. She said it would cost us $200. But the nursing home would not let them take her to the apointment. (thank goodness) This woman barely knows mother but is now her best friend.? I go visit at least once a week and have a POA. ENT DR said no hearing aid will help her nerve damage in one ear. It just irks me that this woman would make such an appointment with out discussing with me first. Mother can be very convincing in getting other people to do her will. She is getting excellent care and I alone am tending to her every need. She just prefers friends to family, always has. She has some dimentia and also macular degeneration .


I hate to say it, but there isn't a lot you can do. Thank goodness the nursing home won't let busybody take your mom out!! That is good. I doubt your mom would tell busybody to quit visiting. So you will probably just have to tell both of them what her doctor has said: that the hearing aids will do no good in her situation.
Well, sometimes, hearign changes and for those of us with high frequency loss due to SNHL, a hearing aid that can be adjusted to boost high frequencies can end up aiding speech understanding a lot. If it has been a while since the last audiogram you might want to get a new eval and cosnider it. $200.00 for a good modern hearing aid is a bargain. ENTs are not always right about these things if they don't have hearing loss themselves. I'm blessed with one who has a hereditary loss and uses a pretty high-tech aid himself. Older hearing aids might not be any help, its true.

I think it is important that you stay in charge of the process but maybe Ms. Busybody could prove to be a friend who could imrpove Mom's quality of life a little bit, and you might not need to shut her out. Maybe the three of you could go out to see an audiologist for an update, bring the hearing aid, and get a look at whether it could prove suitable. And if busybody is just trying to sell an old hearing aid and get herself $200.00, that will likely become very obvious.
Something doesn't pass the smell (or sound) test here. Good hearing aids are fitted (via a custom form) to the individual's ear. They are not interchangeable and for hygiene should never be.

i'd tell her that although you appreciate it, & as your mom is on a limited income so there is no budget for a $ 200 used hearing aid and any & all expenditures or signatures by her have to be approved by you & or her doctor for medical in advance. Let's see what happens then.

The audiologist comes to my mom's IL every 6 weeks and then goes to the AL and NH sectors. All billing except goes thru Medicare or their secondary insurance. All the places we looked at had some sort of service like this just as they do for podiatrists (this is in Texas).

Oh and also you might keep in mind that if mom doesn't hear well, she
may have heard what she wanted to hear..........
Good Luck!
I'd tell Ms Busybody that, while you appreciate her concern for your mom, she should not ever get involved with her care, equipment or other purchases for her care or medical needs. Be sure to stress that Mom doesn't have any money to buy anything but DOES have insurance that will cover it. I wonder how long she'll continue to visit then? The nursing home should be applauded for preventing her from taking your Mom out but they should also make it very clear to this "friend" that her "help" is completely unwelcome. If Ms Busybody persists, complain to your local police for harassment or elder abuse. She's either up to something or nuts.
Thank you for the very nice replies. I was really incensed at the nerve of that woman. but I suppose she just wanted to help. There is no telling what my mother told her. We could get mother an hearing aid if we had to, however, due to her dimenta and blindness, a small device like that will undoubtedly get lost and/or Mother will not be able to operate it. Even the nurses and her DR, agree . Also she is not that deaf, she is on the phone constantly and hears us just fine. She has no trougble hearing me when I am there.. I think some it is an attention getter , since she is left out when the "hearing aid clinic" is held at the NH.
What I imagined, the hearing aid store would say to mom, this won't work but we have a much better (and more expensive one) that will work for you. Count me cynical, but what an emotional trap that would be. Since it is not something she is in dire need of I am just going to pass. At least my brother and sister back me up, so that is a help.
Good points all - you have to watch out always for scammers, be they professional or private. One small detail on hearing aids - there are behind-the-ear styles with open fit that don't have custom molded earpieces, but rather flexible sound tubes that are the only part going into the ear, and re-programmable so that they could readliy be used for a different person than the orignal they were fitted for. They are also ideal for some types of SNHL, as they let the lower pitch sounds enter the ear normally and can selectively amplify higher pitch ones. They work really well for someone like me who has to use a stethoscope a lot, and gets headaches from amplifying low pitch sounds.

Background noise is a huge issue for most of us with SNHL, and phones are very good at elminiating that, so all I ever need on a hpne is to turn up the volume a little - that might not be the best screening test there.

That said, my own experience is that though my mom needs hearing aids badly, she could not manage them due to dementia and fine motor problems, and though theoretically the care facility staff were supposed to help her with them, I can count on one hand the number of times they were actually in use when I showed up. It was great those times not to have to shout at high volume all the time. And because her loss and mine are so similar, we did just use some that I had worn or something more off-the-shelf I pre-tested for her since we were not blessed with a traveling audiologist.

BUT - a big part of Mom's problem is that she truly believes that other people just mumble. She has a hard time thinking she has any actual problems, aside form being unable to walk. So overcoming any obstacles to hearing aid use is just not her personal priority. All the aids she has ever had are either lost, proken, or uncomfortable. It would be great if they could invent one that is real simple for seniors that actualy work.

Long story short, you may be absolutely and completely correct to skip the hearing aid if whatever hearing loss your mom has is not interfering with either conversation or her pleasure in listening to music. I haven't quite given up on my mom, as who knows when the ideal technology will come around. So if anyone who has writen really does have or know of insurance that would cover them, or ideas on how to get a hearing aid clinic to come out to our facility, that would be a huge help!

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