Burnout, after 3 years of caregiving.

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FOR THE LAST 3 YEARS IHAVE BEEN ACAREGIVER.FOR MOM FOR 2YEARS,SHE DIED DIC.24 2010.SHE HAD ALZHEIMER.MY SPOUSE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH PARKINSON 3 YEARS AGO NOW HE IS IN THE LAST STAGE.VERY AGRESSIVE.FEW GOOD DAYS AND NIGHTS,BUT A LOT OF VERY SICK DAYS AND NIGHTS..IT IS GETTING WORST,DAY AFTER DAY.I DO NEED SOME KIND OF RESPITE BUT HUSBAND WONT ALLOW ANY BODY TO STAY WITH HIM.UNLESS IM THERE.

4 Comments

My Mom has Parkinson's and lately it seems that she is having more panic attacks that make her unreasonable. For awhile, she did not want anyone in her home. I finally had a frank talk with her and told her that I needed help.
We now have caregivers helping out - just two days a week, but it gives me a break.
I know that you are trying to respect the wishes of your husband, but you have every right to protect your health and sanity. Try finding a few in-home caregivers that come highly recommended, introduce them to your hub, then hire them. You will not believe how just a few hours off will improve your mood....good luck
THANKS FOR YOR SUGGETIONS,HAD TRIED THAT BUT HE REFUSED.HE CAN HAVE VOLUNTEERS ,FREE OF CHARGE BUT NO WONT ACCEPT.TELLS ME HE RATHER STAY BY HIMSELF,OF COURSE HE KNOWS HE CANT.HE NEEDS HELP WITH EVERY THING..
Do you have a preacher or some other man your husband likes and would possibly listen to them? I would just have to let him get angry and get some rest. Seems this is the last thing he feels he has any control over and he is scaired and feeling very powerless. Has he told you what he is afraid might happen if you were not there.? Please make a stand for yourself honey. You have my support in any decisions you make.. Let us know how it goes.
I had respite for hubby before I officially became his caregiver; he has epilepsy copd and empyema and possible CHF and I am also raising 2 kids at the same time. Get someone quick or if ur cover by medicaid seek therapy to get urself out of the house. Has he been declared incompetent yet and if so do you have the medical power of attorney because if so then you can demand what is best for him if he is not of sound mind and body. I cannot do that yet as my husband still has most of his faculties except for some memory lapses here n there but not so bad that I am trying to get him declare incompetent. I know what its like to want to get out of the house and get some air but ur also doing a very strong thing caring for your spouse when no one else will. NO matter what happens you know u gave him his comforts and the love that endures . You do not need to feel guilty to ask for Help but you need to do it. I do not how old you are and if you have any children young or old, if older they need to step up to the plate but if they won't do what ya have to do before you reach the end of that rope and find out you lost urself in a fog. You are strong and yes he may be in charge but ur taking care of him so do what is right before its too late..seriously try to save urself before we all get worried about you.. prayers are with you :)

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