My mother won't stop sticking things down her pants--and I am (shamefully) utterly grossed out!

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I can't stand it anymore! I am so ashamed to feel such anger toward a person whom I love and is sick, but there are times that I feel like I'm losing it! My mother won't stop: 1) sticking things down her pants....from money, to toothbrushes to makeup to silverware! 2) hoarding things....I am continually on a "hunt" for everything! 3) touching everything....she walks around all day and night putting her hands, which she uses at least 3 times a day to rip her diaper into shreds, on everything!! I can't even let food cool on the stove before putting it in the fridge because I'm afraid if I step away for a minute, she will have her hands in it and I will need to throw it away. I throw away everything/anything she sticks down her pants--and am just tired of her ripping her diapers off. I stepped upstairs to take a shower the other day, and she decided my laptop needed to "be washed"--how on earth do I keep EVERYTHING from her??!!?? I'm single with two children! I have zero help, and my God, I need to shower!! I can't lock her in the bathroom with me--speaking of which, I can't go to the bathroom without her knocking on the door or rattling the handle.......and when she uses the bathroom, she continually empties the contents of the cat's litter box on the floor.
I'm just losing it........I can't take this!!

2 Comments

Wow!

I'm not familiar with your situation. I take it Mom has dementia. Do you know what kind? Is she seeing a dementia specialist? What meds is she on to help manage her behaviors?

I don't see how you can go on like this, without something changing. Medication adjustments/additions would be my first thought.

Can you dress her in jumpsuits/overalls/some kind of outfits where she can't get her hands into her pants? The tradeoff would be you'd have to help her each trip to the bathroom.

The cat is probably easier to retrain than Mom. Can you move the litter box?

If she's knocking on the bathroom door, at least you know she isn't sticking her hands in the soup.

I guess the ultimate change would be to place her in a care facility. How do you feel about that?
There is nothing shameful about your feelings. The situation you are describing is extremely difficult. Tell us a bit more, including what kinds of things you've already tried to get help, so that we don't try to reinvent the wheel. I think any one of us would be at the end of our rope, too, in the situation you describe. Jumpsuit sounds like a GREAT idea.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

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