All mom does is moan and say 'oh my god' constantly..

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My mom just turned 90 a month ago. She's been under hospice care since January. Has CHF, and a multitude of other chronic things. I am her sole caregiver 24 hours, my husband is here but not really 'here to care'. I have one gal that comes in 4 hours a day so i can at least go for an hour to the grocery store. My biggest frustration right now is that my mom constantly utters 'oh my god, oh my jesus'. CONSTANTLY. She was doing this for about a year before this but now since she's been in bed two months, it's constant. She wakes me two or three times a night sounding completely distraught and repeating 'oh my god' so desperately I feel like there's something drastic happening. I go in, nothing, she just looks at me blankly. Doesn't even realize most times that she's saying it. I have 7 siblings, 6 of which live at least 1500 miles away. Not one will come and be with her with me in her last days. And I'm sorry to say, Hospice is a joke. Since January seen the social worker (Worthless in my opinion and my eldest sister is a SW with Hospice in another state), seen her twice. Woohoo.

How do I ignore this constant 'oh my god'ing'. Do any of you experience this as well? I know it's anxiety on her end. The ativan helps a little. Except for this, she's quite lucid most of the time and it kills me to drug her up just to sleep. Hospice wants me to give her other stuff that will have her sleeping almost all the time.
I have cared for my mom 40 of my 49 years. She has been partially paralyzed since I was 9 years old. I'm exhausted and worn out. It's a daily rollercoaster of emotion for me and I'm just so tired. I absolutely do NOT wish her dead. I only wish and pray for peace for her and myself. She is tired and wants so to be with my dad and her mother and sister and brothers.

Mostly just venting here but I am curious to know if and how many of you go through the 'oh my god' desperate plea.

Take care...

17 Comments

Is your mom in pain? Being bed bound can be very hard on the body.

Can hospice increase her Ativan? She doesn't have to be totally drugged out. There are doses that fall between "effective" and "doped up". If her moaning is a sign of anxiety and the moaning doesn't stop with the dose she's at now maybe an increase in dosage will help.

I didn't experience this with my dad but I have experienced it in my professional life and it can be annoying and emotionally taxing.
Yes well, her moaning and 'oh my god'ing' is in ADDITION to her rosary praying. When I say she is constantly repeating this, it is constant...the only time she stops is when she finally is deep sleeping. If she's just lightly sleeping, she is still repeating it. She can be on the phone talking to one of my sisters and mid sentence she will insert 'oh my god'. When I can hear her through my headphones that I use for work there is nothing that a set of earplugs will do to stop the chanting. And if I can't hear her, when something does happen, what then?

I guess I'm confused as to your comment "I'm a traditional Catholic. this is a good sign, that's how i read it. " What is a good sign?

And no, this isn't the biggest 'problem', just one of many that keeps me awake.
It sounds like she is hallucinating and fearful. This is where the meds from Hospice help to make her comfortable. It's not about doping them up, it's about relieving the pain and anxiety. Please give her some medication.
Shaking, You made me laugh whether intentionally or not and I mean no disrepect at all. I love your comment about Wells Fargo and accountant. I'm sorry but that was so funny. I guess if she were not in such turmoil and desperation as she says 'oh my god' it wouldn't be so bad but like i said, she's been saying that phrase for over a year, just in the last few months it's been constant.

Pam, yes she is fearful. She has told me and everyone that she's afraid she will not get into Heaven. She is and always has been a very very devout Catholic and here is this frail, frightened woman thinking she will not get into Heaven. She's had last rites twice this year and no convincing from the Priest or chaplains or anyone is helping her to believe she's going to Heaven.

My dad didn't say hardly anything in the three weeks before he died. Although once in a while he would ask when the beer party was and he didn't even drink in the 46 years I knew him! He saw angels and family members all the time. My mom doesn't seem to be seeing anything that is calming or peaceful to her...Well, except for Joel Osteen. She loves his curly hair. She's not a big fan of Victoria anymore though.

Dulci, you can convince her. Put up some pictures of Angels, play some DVD's of Billy Graham or go to billygraham.org and play streaming videos of him for her. You can select just the right content to alter her mood.
i think the blasphemy would be more colorful and entertaining than the pi**in and moanin but ill admit to having a pretty distorted sense of humor .
Captain, I'm sure if we re-played a video of you on your first round of ribavirin, her mother would look relaxed in comparison.
Dulci~ I agree with Pam in that peaceful music is a great idea. It may help calm your mother and give you something else to listen to.
Hoping not to insult anyone but I got the biggest kick out of these post!
Wishing you and your mother...peace!
My late grandmother was devout Catholic and largely never stopped muttering things to/about God or Jesus, either. And yes, it was mostly as a "prayer" form for help, in other words, initiated from her own anxiety and need. But I learned to accept that this was her way of seeking assistance from her faith, when she no longer had words for asking anyone else, or any other way.

I did start the habit of reciting prayers with her (Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, and especially the Guardian Angel Prayer at night) throughout the day and this seemed to be of great comfort to her. And I did notice, in the short time I had with her as her caregiver (little over a year), she seemed changed from being very agitated and unhappy to a calmer, sweeter personality, sans meds… maybe this is nostalgia on my part… but no, I think it happened. Can you take the time to recite prayers with her a few times a day, it might help? Good luck.
Ack, went back and read some more… "Wells Fargo"/accountant… yes, my grandmother also began repeating that she needed to go to her bank to pay her car note, and she would repeat it in urgent fashion all night. This was in last month or so of her life, after she had experienced marked decline from c-diff. Good luck, all. God bless them, God bless the caregivers.

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