A year ago my mom passed away from cancer. I'm still grieving

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A year ago my mom passed away from cancer. It's getting close to the anniversary (December) and I'm still grieving. I cry every day and I feel so very depressed and guilty that I could not have helped her more. I stopped seeing the psychiatrist a few months ago - should I go back? What can I do to stop this horrible feeling?


Hi TinaJ, we all know how you feel. But there are wonderful people here to give you lots of hugs and support. Read what I posted to your wall.
Hi Tina
You must have been very close to your mom and there is no time limit for grief. We all handle it differently. I am very close with my mom who is 88 and I am grieving already because as she ages I realize she will not be here forever. Maybe joining a support group or going for counseling would help. Also, a medication may help you feel better. Be sure and go for counseling as they will help you with the process of grief. Know that you are not alone either. My thoughts are with you.
Dear Tina,
My youngest brother, who I was very close to and saw and talked to daily, died unexpectedly three years ago. I went into a terrible depression. The sadness was indescribable. I couldn't get away from it. Listening to music made me cry, reading books didn't help, movies, TV, everything made me sad because my brother wasn't here anymore to enjoy such things. It seemed so unfair.
My health went downhill. I lost a lot of weight because I couldn't eat. My Dr. prescribed Prozac. I have to say, that I just had to go though the process, and it took quite a while to finally be able to get over that aching breaking of my heart. Over a two year period it slowly lessened, and now, although I sometimes still have a cry because I miss him so much...which is a good release, I can finally enjoy my life without feeling guilty, and I can think about my brother with warm happy thoughts rather than being brought to my knees with sadness.
So, the old adage that TIME heals, is true, but hard to get through. Stay as busy and occupied with things as possible.
Love, prayers, and hugs to you. You'll be better. You WILL!
I am so sorry for your loss. Time is a healer of all wounds and I know one day you will get over this. For now, if you are still depressed often then I would recommend going to a psychiatrist again.

Good luck!
Tina, I don't claim to know anything about your situation, but I don't think we ever get over losing someone we love. Please stop feeling guilty for something you could not stop. Cancer is a terrible thing and a terrible curse on someone. I'll bet you did everthing you could do for your mom. I lost my son a year ago and the guilt about drove me insane, what could I have done to stop this. He was killed in a car crash and the one thing that haunted me was, if I had not moved to another state, if I had not asked him to go with us, if, if, if... I think we all blame ourselves for things that are taken from our control. Believe it or not, it will get easier if you give yourself a break. And ask yourself, would your mom want you to put yourself through this pain and guilt. She would probably tell you to move on with your life and she knew you loved her. I still cry, I still mourn and probably will the rest of my life but I remember there are other members of my family and friends who need me to be strong, they also have lost. If a support group helps, by all means, continue with what works. As for me, I am so blessed to have found this site and the wonderful people who have listened to my loss, a loss we all share in some way. God bless, you are in our prayers.
Hi Tina, if you are part of a church, ask for prayer about this - I believe that God wants to heal your pain and give you Joy for Ashes. If you do not already belong to a church, I suggest you find one near you. The friends and fellowship of a good church is like finding a great big family. Lots of love to you, God Bless You.
I also too lost a brother to a tragic car accident. It takes a long time to get over the loss and deal with the grief. You will find happiness again - just take one day at a time.
The loss of a mother is a awful thing to go through. But have no regrets she is happy and is at her final home. I think God is your answer. Put all of your heartache on him and have him carry it for you. My mother died when I was 15 years old. She was such a sweet person and everyone loved her.

It may sound silly but sit down and write to her. Tell her how you feel. How much you miss her and love her. Believe me she already knows.

But with time it will get better, I promiss you. My friend just lost her daughter a year ago and I have spent a lot of time talking with her. But we believe in God and trust him that he has taken good care of her. When God reaches out his hand to you that is all it takes. You want to go with him. So the day you mom died that is what happen, she was at the end of her life and she wanted to be with the Lord. Remember your mom isn't gone but she has just stepped out of sight for a while, and you will see her again. That is a promise by our Father.
...death is not a failure, everyone dies, it's part of the process of life.
When someone we love dies, the mourning process takes at least one year, so we need to give ourselves that space.
It's difficult to go through all the holidays and seasons, so be very gentle with yourself and let yourself grieve, and there are no rules, so don't make any for yourself.
Let yourself cry. You want to give your feelings an outlet. You can't pretend it doesn't hurt. Nature has given us feelings to get us through certain experiences and to deny them causes more pain... You have to take care of yourself the best you can, and I know it's not easy, so if psychiatrist did help you, maybe you can go and see him again
Don't feel guilty. Your mom loved you and wouldn't want you to feel like that. I am a mom and I wouldn't want my kids to feel guitly about anything they did or didn't do.

My mom died when I was 15 years old. I felt guilty because I had to help her before I went to school. I never saw her again she died that day. That stayed with me for a long time. But I know she forgave and I ask God to forgive me too. So let your heart heal and know that one day you will see her again.

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