32 year old son continued...
so it is apparent, that as I remember this is the son that was mad that his father and I did not ask his permission to get remarried, and he made both of our lives heck.
It is obvious that if we do not open up to him and tell him adult things that are between us, then he will not have a relationship with us.
Then the final
I am not trying to punish you, but I am just not comfortable meeting you both until we have had the opportunity to address some of this stuff. I would like for you to meet your first grandchild at some point though (gee isn't that nice), what am I supposed to feel like? This child is still pulling the strings of mother and father and just does not like the way we put the things onto him.
He is accountable for his actions.
He is responsible for how he feels, and he needs to heal.
My goodness, he wants me and his father to go back 20 years and remember what the heck happened.
I am the kind of person that communicates immediately regarding an issue and the other thing, if you say what you feel, and he doesn't agree, then you are out of his life. This is all about in my opinion, his ability to control, me, my husband, his father, and his step mother.
To me, it is like "perhaps we can arrange a time for the family to get together at Sue's once the baby is here!
I cannot tell you in the last five to six years every occasion, my husband and I were mailed back our christmas stockings because there was not enough room.
This was my sister. No one has said anything. My father would have stated something. I don't know. Why his father too! We have lived apart for 29 years. We know he is writing this because if we don't state what he wants, which I am not sure, in 2004, I told him I was sorry for everything, and that I am doing the best in my life. I paid $500 per month for car insurance because the kid was in so many wrecks. That is stupidity.
I am thinking of getting a counselor, and bringing the two of us together, what is any one other's advice.
We feel that Daniel has been very upset because he is a product of a divorce. Icannot change that, but he has done everything in his power to make our lives miserable. And ignore all calls, I stopped calling years ago, and also why has my family stopped having room for me for all birthday's, shirley, they are not in this with my 32 year old son whom has been traveling the country. Meanwhile, yes, I am the dutiful daughter that lovingly volunteers my nights for my mother every night at the Alzheimer's home, not one says thank you anything. This is just the family that went wrong. My mother was an alcoholic. I never drank at all, every, and I told him some stories of the trauma that I was through, but I don't know, I think that he has always been a child that debates and was on the debate team in college and he is always right. From what I read, he is ready to talk as long as we agree with him.
My issues are not his to fix, and it has been very clear to me over the last 10 - 15 years that he has been intentionally ignoring his father and I unless he needed money. The few interactions I have had with him have been very miserable. I tried to take him to dinner, and he ate so fast, it was horrible. I had an ingrown toenail and asked him to walk slower and he didn't. He drove my car, and was so fast that I could smell the tires burning on the road. This is a young man that needs help. Do you all suggest that I get a therapist and the three of us meet.
Of course the pawn is this, if we behave like good parents, he will let us see the baby.
What a day.
Sunday (last) I was bitten by a dog. I will say, that hurts, but the scars will fade hopefully, this is just something where the scars will be there for life.
Comments to all of you who are real, and care, and make a difference.
Thank you and Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.