10 days since mums diagnosis and NOTHING from sister.

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Sent her an email over ten days ago and she hasnt responded to anyone. She has never been good to my mum and a bit of a drama queen mum loves you more? Shes a born again christian BUT doesnt even react over her own mums decline?
I am getting palpatations thinking about this and the anger I feel is not nice. How do you move on from this OR worse face her when the time comes?
My bro is bombarding her with emails about dementia WHY? i wouldnt bother.
She was told the situation and hasnt even the decency to respond.
She was never really involved with mum as she was too selfish BUT my mum deserves better than this she helped us ALL out and we owe it to her to be there for her now.
Im in shock as shes selfish but this is just unbelievable im ashamed to even be her sister.
How do you move on and ignore this behaviour? Am I very naive to think that anyone could be this heartless?

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Oh my brother and sister know how she is its my sister who refuses to any real help always plans made to meet friends etc....things are going to be very different now as mums finally got a diagnosis my sister refused to believe mum had dementia even though ive been telling her for months she caused so much trouble here its unreal and its not over yet? shes demanding POA funny isnt it never wanted to know or get involved with mums care but now demanding she have a say in her welfare as ive said if she gets to be even joint POA i will walk away as i couldnt bear her questioning my every move re mum. Last time i spoke to her i told her to join a forum and speak to a doctor and google as much as you can about dementia shes done nothing. I suppose she thinks that things are going to be the same as before she flits in meets her friends then heads home until another visit?
Ive had a very bad stomach all week just the thoughts of her coming she always finds a way to wind me up. As my friend says "how come theres always trouble when she arrives" my sisters excuse for doing nothing is that she works hard all year?
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Kazzaa- Maybe you shouldn't tell your mum your siblings are coming, just let them show up so they can see how your mum really is?!
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Even though my mom made my sister's life a living Hell, when I would arrive, she would be on "show time." It is hard for a visitor to know or accept what a full time care taker goes through. I still can't figure ouat how a women can go from being totally dependent on someone to able to walk, get coffee, and go get in the car, when I was there.

Whatever happens, you can take a break, Kazzaa. Do not answer the phone over once a day, read, go see a movie and breath. (Oh, that poor cat!)
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Oh i will not be around just to have a discussion re mums future care. I have 2 friends who have given me their keys so I can go there. Trust me if i could afford it id be gone away somewhere also and dont think im "nuts" i have a cat whom ive left here before and he wasnt looked after my sister being the prime suspect our cleaning lady told me the last time I left my sister here alone with mum that the cat wouldnt eat my sister never told me this so never again. My brother is better and makes sure the cats ok. I know you look after their mum all year and all you ask is that the cat is well cared for BUT no i have to worry about him aswell. I did put my cat in a cattery one wkend and he was traumatised and very badly cared for I was so angry. I will find a better cattery in the future or pay someone to look after him as i intend having a long holiday soon and my sis will have to be here to care for mum that shoud be fun!!
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Kazzaa,
I would make sure you leave when they are here. Let them know how it is all the time. As long as you are there, you are the anchor for your mom. You might be surprised at how she is without you around, as will your siblings.
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Brother and sister arriving here next week brother the eldest is VERY supportive little sis has her head up her ass! She will have a schedule spend as little time with mum as poss and go off and meet friends for dinners and coffees while telling them "yeh im home to see mum and help out" shes gets alot of sympathy from her friends as she fills them full of crap. "its so hard for me being abroad"???????????????
Thankgod my brother is coming as i cant be the same room as her i have made 2 apts for mum flu jab and doc so my sister can take her! next weekend im doing NOTHING i will not even wash a cup of course no matter what happens mum will be on best behaviour and doing things basically acting normal around them? Yes siblings coming is always even more stressful then actual caregiving ive learnt not to argue with them dinner needs to be cooked and house cleaned its not a hotel here i will just dissapear for the day and come back when all is done. Going to be tough as we have to discuss with mum that she cant live on her own here anymore and that she moves with me to care for her or she had to go to a NH. Today she refuses to wear her hearing aid this is just ongoing but you can bet your bottom dollar shell have it in all next weekend!!!!!!
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I also think siblings who live out of town need not bother to come for a "visit", that is just more work and disruption for those of us who are the live-in-caregivers. If you want to come and see your elderly parent(s), then come and HELP.. not visit. Offer to stay with the parent for a week or two so the primary caregiver can go away or take a much needed break! Most elderly parents who have health issues do not want to "visit" all the time, it's exhausting. Ask the primary caregiver how you can be of help! They will tell you :)
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Chicago, after reading 63% of us caregivers die first, your post scares me when you said taking care of your Mom contributed to our sisters death, omg!
Zazza, I agree, why not "offer" at the least to help out. If someone were giving my Mom the care that I am, I would be bringing them meals, sending them support cards and a weekend or 2 a month off, people just dont realize and never will, how hard it is to caregive 24/7. At least I have a clear conscience.
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Because when my sister would go uninvited, Mother and the sis (living near by) complained about it. But, they were both in ill health. Sometimes, people just like to complain and they really don't want someone helping. Mom and sis, were in IL. I am in AZ. and the sis that would help is in WY. So, we couldn't just drop in.

My situation is a little different, because taking care of my Mother contributed to my sister's death. Now, mom is peachy keen and none of us have been back since last Dec.

All of our situations are different. I am sorry that I went OT.
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Unfortunately free will means a person is free to chose where they want to help just as those of us chose to help. Asking a sibling to help who refuses...that is their choice and those of us who chose to help....well, we have to see it for what it is . We can't force caregiving on family members any more than they can force it on us...we chose for what ever reasons are behind it and our conscience is what we go by. Hugs all!!
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